Max Bialystock: Don't you see, darling Bloom, glorious Bloom? It's so simple. STEP ONE: We find the worst play ever written, a surefire flop. STEP TWO: I raise a million bucks. Lots of little old ladies out there. STEP THREE: You go back to work on t...
The Count: To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place. But all over...
[Marion and Belloq are both very drunk] Marion: [laughs] What is this stuff, Rene? Belloq: [laughing as well] I grew up on this. It's my family label. [Marion falls to the ground laughing then calmly and quickly pulls out the knife she was concealing...
Roosevelt: The entire outer skin will be like this. Tyler: It's titanium, laminated with kevlar. Roosevelt: Go ahead. Shake his hand. [the robotic arm extends to shake Morton's hand] Bob Morton: Come here often? How you doin'? Bob Morton: [cringes as...
Mr. Pink: He seems okay now, but he was crazy in the store. Mr. White: This is what he was doing. [mimics randomly shooting innocent bystanders] Mr. White: Bam. Bam. Bam. Bam. Mr. Blonde: Yeah, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. I told 'em not to touch the ala...
Irving Radovich: Hey, er, anybody ever tell you you're a dead ringer for... [Joe kicks him under the table] Irving Radovich: Ow! Well, I guess I'll be going! Joe Bradley: Oh, don't do a thing like that, Irving. Sit down, join us, join us. Irving Rado...
Chuck Yeager: [NASA recruiters are talking to test pilots] You need lab rabbits. Recruiter: Sorry, I didn't get that. Chuck Yeager: I said you need lab rabbits to curl up in your damn capsule. With its heart going "pitter-patter". And a wire up the k...
Joey Gazelle: [On the Ice, about to be hit with slap shots] Don't you do this Frankie. Don't you motherfucking do this! Motherfucker! Don't fucking do this! Don't hurt that motherfucking kid, you fuck! Perello: [laughing] You fucked up, Joey. You fuc...
Coach Boone: What, you say your name was Jerry? Bertier: [annoyed] Gerry. Coach Boone: No, you must have said Jerry. Jerry Lewis, which you make *you* [looks towards Dean] Coach Boone: Dean Martin. [towards parents] Coach Boone: Ladies and gentleman!...
[first lines] Luke: Echo Three to Echo Seven. Han, old buddy, do you read me? Han Solo: Loud and clear, kid. What's up? Luke: Well, I finished my circle. I don't pick up any life readings. Han Solo: There isn't enough life on this ice cube to fill a ...
[Chewbacca is fixing C-3PO] C-3PO: Oh, yes, that's very good, I like that... Oh! [the lights in his eyes go out] C-3PO: Well, now, something's not right, because now I can't see! [Chewie fiddles with something and his eyes turn back on] C-3PO: Oh, oh...
[while the Falcon is fleeing from Imperial fighters, and R2-D2 is stitching C-3PO back together] C-3PO: Noisy brute. Why don't we just go to lightspeed? R2-D2: [beeps] C-3PO: We can't? How would you know the hyperdrive is deactivated? R2-D2: [beeps] ...
Doyle: Now get the fuck out now before I get too mad to turn back! Terence: What about our instruments? Doyle: Come here, you little prick. Come here, you little fucking prick! [Wheels him right into the door] Doyle: Get out! All y'all, get the fuck ...
Doyle: [Doyle, Vaughan and Karl are in Doyle's truck going to get beer] Not that you two afflicted sumbitches know anything about this, you're sitting in a crew-cab duallie pickup. In some circles, this is considered a piece of automotive art. Vaugha...
Sabrina Fairchild: Maybe you should go to Paris, Linus. Linus Larrabee: To Paris? Sabrina Fairchild: It helped me a lot. Have you ever been there? Linus Larrabee: [thinks] Oh, yes. Yes. Once. I was there for thirty-five minutes. Sabrina Fairchild: Th...
Teddy Daniels: So, what's our next move? Chuck Aule: You tell me. Teddy Daniels: I gotta get off this rock, Chuck. Get back to the mainland. Whatever the hell's going on here, it's bad. [pause] Teddy Daniels: [sotto voce] Don't worry, partner, they'r...
Turkish: [looks at the caravan] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We'll need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me. Tommy: Why me? Turkish: Well, you know about caravans. Tommy: How's that? Tu...
Tiffany: Hey! Pat: What the fuck? I'm married! Tiffany: So am I! Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband's dead! Tiffany: Where's your wife? Pat: You're crazy! Tiffany: I'm not the one who just got out of that hospital in Baltimore. Pat: And I...
Heywood: Hey, Fat Ass. Fat Ass! Talk to me boy! I know you're there I can hear you breathin'. Don't you listen to these nitwits you hear me? This place ain't so bad. Tell you what, I'll introduce you around, make you feel right at home. I know a coup...
Woody: Look Jessie, I know you hate me for leaving, but I have to go back. I'm still Andy's toy. Well, if you knew him, you'd understand. See, Andy's... Jessie: Let me guess. Andy's a real special kid, and to him, you're his buddy, his best friend, a...
Higgins: It's simple economics. Today it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years, food. Plutonium. Maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the people are gonna want us to do then? Joe Turner: Ask them? Higgins: Not now - then! Ask 'em when they're ru...
