A new poll found that 84% of American people were disgusted by Congress, and my only thought is, Are 16% of Americans insane? If they’re not disgusted, they should eat a bowl of vomit soup. It’s fresh, as I just made it after reading the latest p...
Later, months later, when Jude thought back to the way it all went down -how did a burnout like him end up straight edge?- he'd remember that ambulance, just like the one he'd been unconscious inside. Its red cross, when viewed from the right angle, ...
Oh, for God's sake," I said. "Just give me the stupid thing." I took the panic button and stuck it into my Super Sexy Miracle Bra. "GPS," Ranger said to Morelli. "Probably I can find her breast without it," Morelli said. "But it's good to know there'...
According to me I have hypochondria. So if I say I suffer from a condition where a person thinks they suffer from everything, it’s a giant loop! Nobody can say I don’t suffer from it because just by saying I suffer from it I am showing the sympto...
You’re a beautiful mess to me,” he said. “Like wildflowers, growing up in the middle of a tire, along the side of the road. You’re not like prize roses, carefully planted in the right soil and pruned back at the right times. You’re wild, an...
Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical, or you could buy 101 copies of my .99 cents ebook. Just kidding—I didn’t mean to imply th...
Because sometimes when someone is telling you something really important, it’s best to just let there be silence, to really think about what they’re saying. A lot of times people think they have to say something all insightful or wise or somethin...
I thought following a straight road would lead me right to my destination. Like the road would just take me there because I was following all the rules. And if the road curved, I couldn't be sure about where I was going. But look where it got me. May...
Every person has one particular time in his life when he is more beautiful than he is ever going to be again. For some it is at seven, for others at seventeen or seventy, and as Laura Fleischman read out loud from Shakespeare, I remember thinking tha...
But then Klaudia's lips curled ino a conniving smile."Actually, Aria, I'm going to fuck your boyfriend. Tonight." Aria started at her. It felt like Klaudia had just punched her in the throat. " me?" Klaudia scooted closer to Aria. "I'm going to fuck ...
Hate is a terrible thing. It's a wasteful, stupid emotion. You can hate someone with all your heart, but it'll never do them a bit of harm. The only person it hurts is you. You can spend your days hating, letting it eat away at you, and the person yo...
But I'm here to tell you that nothing could be further from the truth. Your soul is a living, breathing, organic thing. No different than your heart or your legs. And just like your heart keeps your blood oxygenated and your legs keep you moving arou...
I was so anxious about what kind of kiss it would be-because my friends back home described so many types-and it turned out to be the beautiful kind. You didn't shove your tongue down my throat. You didn't grab my butt. We just held our lips together...
If God meant for us to carry baggage around, he would have made our skin have little pouches like kangaroos. Or maybe he would have just made it so that each and every one of us were born with huge- ass shoulders to carry the load. Clearly, we weren�...
I don’t know who she is, or, if she will ever love me or not. But, I’m falling for her, in just one meeting. Is love at first sight for real? No, no, this is so unreal. Will she love me? Maybe love is unconditional. God… I’m crazy… I’m in...
But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as drunk as a skunk, Drumknott, which of course means skunks are just as drunk as I. I must say the term is unfamiliar to me, and I h...
Marriage is a core component of the patriarchal system. According to Gerda Lerner's research on ancient societies, a woman could achieve at least some status, and with that, better treatment and privileges, through preserving her only capital – her...
Being healthy is a way of life. It’s not just about what you feed your body; it’s about what you feed your mind and the social environment you keep. Make healthy food choices, exercise your body and brain, and choose your friends wisely.
He had a face made for magazine covers. Could someone say GQ model? That razor sharp jaw and those angular features caught the light just right. If she’d had a camera she wouldn’t mind snapping a few pictures. And those lips…she stopped. She di...
Never boyfriends? You've NEVER been in LOVE?" As I shake my head no, I look out the window, yearning to see Cole's sun-filled eyes again looking into mine. "Don't worry," Tiger said. "Love isn't easy- and it happens on its own time. Just hang in ther...
Humans are really stupid. If we don't fall and get hurt, we won't learn our lesson. Just like a kid repeatedly falling. No matter how many times we fail, or how many times we've fallen. Humans will stand once again, smiling ruefully at our grazed kne...
