Jack Barry: Eleven points will bring you to 21 and you will be our new champion! Because of a disagreement with his commanding general, Ulysses S. Grant was virtually placed under arrest for a brief time early in 1862. Who was the commanding general ...
[talking about Marion's late father] Marion: He said you were a bum. Indiana: Aw, he's being generous. Marion: The most gifted bum he ever trained. You know, he loved you like a son... took a hell of a lot for you to alienate him. Indiana: Not much.....
Stanley Goodspeed: Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known...
Mr. Hennessey: In view of the fact that our Highness was taken violently ill at three o'clock this morning, put to bed with a high fever, and has ordered all her appointments for the day cancelled in toto... Joe Bradley: That's certainly pretty hard ...
Dr. Bruner: Well, Raymond? Aren't you more comfortable in your favorite K-Mart clothes? Charlie: Tell him, Ray. Raymond: K-Mart sucks. Dr. Bruner: Oh, I see. Charlie: Hey, Ray: you just made a joke. Raymond: Yeah, a joke. Ha ha ha... ha.
Charlie: When I was a little kid and I got scared, the Rain Man would come and sing to me. Susanna: Rain what? Charlie: Oh you know, one of those imaginary childhood friends. Susanna: What happened to him? Charlie: Nothing, I just grew up. Susanna: N...
Charlie: Does Raymond know how much money he's inherited? Dr. Bruner: No, he doesn't understand the concept of money. Charlie: He doesn't understand the concept of money? He just inherited $3,000,000 and he doesn't understand the concept of money? Wo...
Raymond: Definitely not. Susanna: But we an watch TV here, we're allowed. [Turns on Wheel of Fortune] Raymond: Wheel Of Fortune. Look at the studio filled with glamorous merchandise. Fabulous and exciting bonus prizes. Thousands of dollars in cash. O...
Herman Blume: What's the secret, Max? Max Fischer: The secret? Herman Blume: Yeah, you seem to have it pretty figured out. Max Fischer: The secret, I don't know... I guess you've just gotta find something you love to do and then... do it for the rest...
Jeff: I just can't figure it. He went out several times last night in the rain carrying his sample case. Stella: Well, he's a salesman, isn't he? Jeff: Well, what would he be selling at three o'clock in the morning? Stella: Flashlights. Luminous dial...
[Duke wants to know who the German spy is] Sefton: It's no use, Schulz, you might as well come clean. Why don't you just tell them it's me, because I'm really the illegitimate son of Hitler, and after the Germans win the war, you're going to make me ...
Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss? Princess Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee. Han Solo: I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss.
Doyle: Believe in the Bible, do ya Karl? Karl: I don't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it. Doyle: Well I can't understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone says s...
Linda Wheatley: Karl, you know what? Melinda here was voted employee of the month at the dollar store last February. Isn't that something? Karl: Yes ma'am, I reckon. Melinda: Well, when you like pricing items as much as I do, it's just bound to happe...
Dwight: Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. He'd be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody's face. Or in a Roman arena, taking his sword to other gladiators...
Cmdr. William Riker: [looking up at the moon] Wow! Look at that! Dr. Zefram Cochrane: Don't tell me you've never seen the moon before. Cmdr. William Riker: It's just looks a lot different, that's all. There are 50 million people living on the moon in...
Young Charlie: We're not just an uncle and a niece. It's something else. I know you. I know you don't tell people a lot of things. I don't either. I have a feeling that inside you there's something nobody knows about... something secret and wonderful...
Bones: Why the hell did he surrender? James T. Kirk: I don't know. But he just took out a squad of Klingons single-handedly. I want to know how. Bones: Sounds like we have a superman on board. James T. Kirk: You tell me.
Joe: [to Spats, about the murders they just witnessed] We didn't see anything. Did we? Jerry: No! [laughs nervously] Jerry: Nothing. Besides, it's none of our business if you guys wanna bump each other off, we don't - [Joe nudges him to shut him up]
[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van] Tyrone: I didn't see it there. Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a packet of fucking peanuts, is it? Tyrone: It was a funny angle. [All three turn and look back at the truck] V...
[Gorgeous George has just been knocked out] Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George. Brick Top: Shhh. You're going to have to repeat that. Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George. Brick Top: Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is ...
