L.A. Bartender: Do you know what time it is? You should be drinking coffee. You're a young guy. It's none of my business, but if you could see what I see, you wouldn't be doing this to yourself. Ben Sanderson: I understand what you're saying. I appre...
Quiz Kid Donnie Smith: Want to know the common element for the entire group?... I'll tell you the answer: I'll tell you, 'cause I had that one. I had that question... Carbon. Carbon. In pencil lead, it's in the form of graphite and in coal, it's mixe...
Mike: Hello, is this thing on? Hey, good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Nice to be here in... your room. Hi, where are you from? [kid doesn't answer] Mike: You're in kindergarden, right? I used to love kindergarden. Best three years of my life. [stil...
Noel Coward: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. [singing] Noel Coward: Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? / Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? / It's swell to have a stiffy. /...
Billy Beane: We want you to play 1st base for the Oakland A's. Scott Hatteberg: OK, well, I've only ever played catcher. Billy Beane: Scott, you're not a catcher any more. If you were our call wouldn't be the only one you got when your contract expir...
Bert: All right, I'll do it myself! Mary Poppins: Do what? Bert: Bit o' magic! Michael: A bit of magic? Bert: It's easy! Let's see... You think. [he, Jane, and Michael do so] Bert: You wink. [they do so] Bert: You do a double blink. [they do so] Bert...
Wendy: You'd better be careful. Eric: Of what? Wendy: I'm serious, Eric. You're not in Modesto anymore. I see the way you look at him. Eric: He's so beautiful. I can't help it. He's like a god. Wendy: You don't have to tell me, I was infatuated with ...
Duke Forrest: [In O.R] I can't stop that bleeding down there. [to Dish] Duke Forrest: Is that true what I hear about you? Get me a clamp. Get me a clamp. Lt. Maria 'Dish' Schneider: Captain Pierce, did you call me? Hawkeye Pierce: No, I didn't, and m...
[Caine Lawson reflecting after being shot] Caine: After stomping on Ilena's cousin like that, I knew I was gonna have to deal with that fool someday. Damn! I never thought he'd come back like this, blasting. Like I said, it was funny like that in the...
[Frank knocks on the door of Enrico Pallazzo's room. Enrico opened the door] Enrico Pallazzo: Yes? Frank: Mr. Pallazzo? Enrico Pallazzo: Si? Frank: I'm the head usher. Enrico Pallazzo: Ah! Frank: I'm here to tell you... Excuse me. [Enrico turns aroun...
Driving instructor: It's okay. Normally you would not be going sixty-five down the wrong way of a one-way street. [a large semi truck appears speeding out of a tunnel towards the car. Stephanie screams, even Frank is terrified, but the unflappable dr...
Milton Waddams: [talking on the phone] And I said, I don't care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting, I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've ...
Blind Seer: You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see tha...
Ulysses Everett McGill: Deceitful, two-faced she-woman. Never trust a female Delmar, remember that one simple precept and your time with me will not have been ill spent. Delmar O'Donnell: Ok, Everett. Ulysses Everett McGill: Hit by a train! Truth mea...
Charles: [enters Anne and Nicholas' bedroom] [quietly] Charles: How are my little ones? Anne: [excited] Daddy! [she hugs Charles] Anne: Why did you take so long? Charles: [smiles when he sees Nicholas] Hello Nicholas. [Nicholas hugs him] Anne: [to Ni...
Harmonica: I saw three of these dusters a short time ago, they were waiting for a train. Inside the dusters, there were three men. Cheyenne: So? Harmonica: Inside the men, there were three bullets. Cheyenne: That's a crazy story, Harmonica, for two r...
Mr. Darcy: You must know... surely, you must know it was all for you. You are too generous to trifle with me. I believe you spoke with my aunt last night, and it has taught me to hope as I'd scarcely allowed myself before. If your feelings are still ...
Indiana: Hello, Marion. Marion: Indiana Jones. I always knew some day you'd come walking back through my door. I never doubted that. Something made it inevitable. So, what are you doing here in Nepal? Indiana: I need one of the pieces your father col...
Party Boy: [at Caesar's cage] Hey, check out this guy. Dodge Landon: Hey that one's a pain in the ass, man! He thinks he's special or something. Party Boy: Freaky. Come here. Come on. It's like he's thinking or something. Caesar: [grabs the man's thr...
H.I.: I think the wife and me are splitting up. Her point is that were both kind of selfish and unrealistic, so we're not really good for each other. Nathan Arizona Sr.: Well, ma'am, I don't know much, but I do know human beings. You brought back my ...
Charlie Fineman: I don't need to talk about her or look at pictures. 'Cause the truth is, a lot of times, I see her, on the street. I walk down the street, I see her in someone else's face. Clearer than any of the pictures you carry with you. I get t...
