Jack Sparrow: What's your name? Will Turner: Will Turner. Jack Sparrow: That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name, no doubt named for your father, eh? Will Turner: Yes. Jack Sparrow: Well Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you sp...
Cutter: Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if...
Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers? Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it. Charlie: What? Stop that for a second...
Sefton: I told you boys I'm no escape artist. For the first time, I like the odds, because now I got me a decoy. Hoffy: What's the decoy? Sefton: Price. When I go, I want you to give me five minutes - exactly five minutes - to get Dunbar out of that ...
Immigration Officer #2: So where's your old man now? Tony Montana: He dead. He die. Sometime. Somewhere. Immigration Officer #2: Mother? Tony Montana: She dead too. Immigration Officer #1: What kind of work you do in Cuba, Tony? Tony Montana: Ah, you...
James T. Kirk: I watched you open fire in a room full of unarmed Starfleet officers. You killed them in cold blood. Khan: Marcus took my crew from me! James T. Kirk: You are a murderer! Khan: He used my friends to control me. I tried to smuggle them ...
Snow White: [to the Seven Dwarfs] Please don't send me away. If you do, she'll kill me. Dwarfs: Kill you? Happy: Who will? Sneezy: Yes, who? Snow White: My stepmother, the queen. Dwarfs: The Queen! Bashful: She's wicked! Happy: She's bad! Sneezy: She...
Donkey: Shrek! Hold up, Shrek! You got to wait for the line! Shrek: [about to burst into the cathedral] What are you talking about? Donkey: The line, the line you gotta wait for: the priest's gonna say "Speak now or forever hold your piece", and you ...
Prem Kumar: [starting lines] So Jamal, tell me something about yourself. Jamal Malik: I work in a call centre in Juhu. Prem Kumar: Phone basher! And what type of call centre would that be? Jamal Malik: XL5 mobile phones. Prem Kumar: Ohh... so you're ...
Red: [narrating] I wish I could tell you that Andy fought the good fight, and the Sisters let him be. I wish I could tell you that - but prison is no fairy-tale world. He never said who did it, but we all knew. Things went on like that for awhile - p...
Upham: So where are you from, Captain? What'd you do before the war? Captain Miller: What's the pool up to? Upham: [chuckles] Uh... up over three hundred, sir. Captain Miller: Well, when it gets up to five hundred, I'll give you the answers and we'll...
Mrs. Cunningham: You know, I read of a case once. I think it would be a wonderful idea! I can take him out in the car, and when we get to a very lonely spot, knock him on the head with a hammer, pour gasoline over him and over the car, and set the wh...
Captain Shakespeare: [whispers] Yvaine... I know what you are. [Yvaine starts] Captain Shakespeare: Have no fear, no-one on this vessel will harm you, but there are plenty who would... Your emotions give you away, Yvaine. You must learn to control th...
[Tristan and Yvaine are imprisoned in the pirate ship] Yvaine: Tell me about Victoria, then. Tristan: Well, she... she... There's nothing more to tell you. Yvaine: The little I know about love is that it's unconditional. It's not something you can bu...
[person speaking German on "cliteris" website] Kyle: Dude, it's a lady getting pooed on! Stan: Whoa! Is it Cartman's mom? Cartman: Oh, very funny! Kyle: Hey! It IS Cartman's mom! Mrs. Cartman: [man speaking German on computer] All righty then! Cartma...
Combo: But I've got one question to ask you. Do you consider yourself English, or Jamaican? [There's a long uneasy silence, as Milky looks around nervously to the rest of his friends... ] Milky: [eventually] English. Combo: Lovely, lovely, love you f...
Rex: Mr. Lightyear, now I'm curious... what does a space ranger actually do? Woody: He's not a space ran-*ger*! He doesn't fight evil or, or... shoot lasers or fly. Buzz: Excuse me. Buzz: [Buzz deploys his wings; all exclaim in excitement] Hamm: Wow....
Woody: Listen, lightsnack, you stay away from Andy. He's mine, and no one is taking him away from me. Buzz: What are you talking about? Where's that bonding strip? [slides under his ship with a skateboard] Woody: [pulls him back out] And another thin...
Heather Holloway: This is Nick Naylor telling you kids, don't do drugs, smoke cigarettes Nick Naylor: That's really great, its like looking in the mirror Heather Holloway: New idea, cigarettes for the homeless, we'll call them hobos Nick Naylor: Haha...
Alpha: [On a communicator on Beta's collar] This is Alpha calling Dug. Come in, Dug. Dug: Hi Alpha. Hey, your voice sounds funny. Alpha: I know, I know! Have you seen the bird? Dug: Why, yes. The bird is my prisoner now. Gamma: Yeah, right! [Kevin hi...
Terence Fletcher: Were you rushing or were you dragging? Andrew: I-I don't know. Terence Fletcher: Start counting! Andrew: Five, six... Terence Fletcher: In four, dammit! Look at me! Andrew: One, two, three, four. [Fletcher slaps him the face] Andrew...
