He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Any canned pineapple that expires on May 1? Cashier: You know what day it is today? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: April 30? Cashier: Right. You think we sell outdated stock? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: There's still two hours to go. Cashier: Nobody wo...
Reggie Lampert: Not until you proof to me that you're really Brian Crookshank. Brian Crookshank: All right, one day next week I'll put it on a marriage license. How about that...? Reggie Lampert: [interrupting] Quit stalling. I want some identificati...
Randal Graves: Before he was the Mad Ducats guy, he was just Pickle Fucker. You see, freshman year, the seniors would hunt us down and put us through what they called "initiations." They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us in the girl's shower room n...
Vincent: Okay, look, here's the deal. Man, you were gonna drive me around tonight, never be the wiser, but El Gordo got in front of a window, did his high dive, we're into Plan B. Still breathing? Now we gotta make the best of it, improvise, adapt to...
[Max is on the radio dispatch with his boss, Lenny] Max: Yeah, Lenny, what's up? It's me. Lenny: Just got off the phone with the cops. Desk sergeant called to check if you brought the cab in? Max: Yeah, so? Lenny: So, aside from I hate talking to cop...
Officer Ryan: You know, you don't like me, that's fine, I'm a prick, my father doesn't deserve to suffer like this, he was a janitor, struggled his whole life, saved enough to start his own company, twenty three employees, all of them black, paid the...
Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake. Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa. Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By." Sam: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Ilsa. I'm a little rusty on it. Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-...
Nicky Santoro: [voice-over] The first one to skip was John Nance. He found a nice, warm, secluded place in Costa Rica. He thought nobody would find him there. [Gunshots are heard. Nance runs onto the veranda of his mansion, breaks a door panel and ru...
Steve Rogers: [Comes home to find Fury in his apartment] I don't remember giving you a key. Nick Fury: You really think I'd need one? My wife kicked me out. Steve Rogers: Didn't know you were married. Nick Fury: There are a lot of things you don't kn...
Clark: No, Eddie. It was my fault. I lost my temper when I got my bonus and I guess I said a few thing I shouldn't have. Mr. Frank Shirley: Bonus? How did you get a bonus? I cut out bonuses this year. Clark: Yeah. Thanks for telling us. I was expecti...
[after Gru lied about his fear of dating] Gru: Good night, Edith. [gives her a good night kiss and gently pulls the beanie over Edith's eyes] Gru: Good night, Margo. [gives her a goodnight kiss, but returns in suspicion] Gru: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, ...
John Milton: Maricela, ¿su esposa? El momento que saliste del apartamento, ella estaba arriba con Carlos. Mira, amigo, están a la pipa fumando crack. Están en la cocina compartiendo un "jumbo", y después, en tu misma cama, él se la va a meter po...
Gambol's Bodyguard: Yo, Gambol, there's somebody here for you. They say they just killed the Joker. Gambol's Bodyguard: They brought the body. [a body bag is brought in and dropped on the table; Gambol unzips it, revealing Joker's face] Gambol: So. F...
Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home. The Joker: Of course not. Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him? The Joker: Me? I was right here. [holds up his arms in handcuffs] The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming,...
Frank Costello: I'm going to have my associate search you. Billy Costigan: No, no one's fucking searching me. Searching me for what? Frank Costello: Contra-fucking-band. Take your shoes off. [French slams Costigan into a chair] Mr. French: Shoes. Fra...
Buggin' Out: You almost knocked me down, man. the word is "excuse me." Clifton: Ah, excuse me, I'm sorry. Buggin' Out: Not only did ya knock me down, you stepped on my brand-new white Air Jordan's I just bought, and that's all you can say is "excuse ...
Mother Sister: Hey, you old drunk, what did I tell you about drinking in front of my stoop? Move on; you're blocking my view. You are ugly enough; don't stare at me. The evil eye doesn't work on me. Da Mayor: Mother Sister, you've been talkin' about ...
Mischa: [the second guard tries to reach the front desk but instead reaches Simon's henchman who has replaced the real guard] Front desk. Federal Reserve Guard #2: Yes, call the police, get your ass down here right now! I'm under attack! Mischa: Hey,...
Rita Vrataski: [after Bill gets hit during training] You all right, Cage? Lt. Col. Bill Cage: I think I broke something... Rita Vrataski: What? Lt. Col. Bill Cage: My back. The only thing I can feel are my lips. Rita Vrataski: Now listen carefully. T...
Roy Walker: What's that? Alexandria: Food. Roy Walker: Where'd you get it? Alexandria: The chapel. [feeds him a communion wafer] Roy Walker: I'm sorry I shouted at you. I was angry. Alexandria: No problem. Roy Walker: Are you trying to save my soul? ...
School of Fish: Hey, hey! You like impressions? Dory: Mmm-hmm. School of Fish: Okay, just like in rehearsal, gentlemen. [School takes form of swordfish] School of Fish: So, what are we? Take a guess. Dory: Oh, oh, I've seen one of those. School of Fi...
