Mr. Ping: The secret ingredient is... nothing! Po: Huh? Mr. Ping: You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient. Po: Wait, wait... it's just plain old noodle soup? You don't add some kind of special sauce or something? Mr. Ping: Don't have to....
[talking about her ex-boyfriend] Natalie: He says no one's gonna fancy a girl with thighs the size of big tree trunks. Not a nice guy, actually, in the end. Prime Minister: Ah! You know, um, being Prime Minister, I could just have him murdered. Natal...
Col. Josef 'Pips' Priller: [speaking in German] Thank you, my dear Hans! You have just killed both of us! [slams down phone] Luftwaffe major: It is getting very difficult to get any sleep around here. Col. Josef 'Pips' Priller: Your prospects for a l...
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
Dan: There's absolutely no way in the whole world for John to prove his story. Just like there's no way for us to disprove it. No matter how outrageous we think it is, no matter how highly trained some of us think we are, there's absolutely no way to...
Natalie: But even if you get revenge you're not gonna remember it. You're not even going to know that it happened. Leonard Shelby: My wife deserves vengance. Doesn't make a difference whether I know about it. Just becuase there are things I don't rem...
Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as t...
[Dexter has just proposed] Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you're not doing it just to soften the blow? C. K. Dexter Haven: No. Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face? C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face. Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise ...
Carla: [after telling Stanley she's pregnant] You didn't mean what you just said, did you? Stanley Goodspeed: When? Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty. Stanley Goodsp...
Ara Parseghian: What's your problem, O'Hare, what's your problem? Jamie O'Hara: Last practice of the season and this asshole thinks it's the Super Bowl! Ara Parseghian: You just summed up your entire sorry career here in one sentence! If you had a te...
Little John: You know somethin', Robin. I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor. Robin Hood: Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit f...
David Mills: I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in...
Joe Gillis: [who has just has a visit from two men trying to repossess his car] [narrating] Joe Gillis: I was way ahead of the finance company. I knew they'd be becoming around and I wasn't taking any chances. So I kept it across the street in a park...
[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers] Shaun: Got you these. [Liz reads the label] Liz: "To a wonderful mum"? Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wan...
Sherlock Holmes: There is a toxin, refined from the nectar of the rhododendron ponticum. It's quite infamous in the region of Turkey bordering the Black Sea for its ability to induce an apparently mortal paralysis. Enough to deceive even a medical mi...
Carlos: No one has ever picked me up and not wanted something. George: I think you picked me up. This is kind of a serious day for me. Carlos: Come on. What could be so serious for a guy like you? George: I'm just trying to get over an old love I gue...
Pat: You look nice. Tiffany: Thank you. Pat: Oh, I'm not flirting with you. Tiffany: Oh, I didn't think you were. Pat: I just see that you made an effort, and I'm gonna be better with my wife. I'm working on that. I wanna acknowledge her beauty. I ne...
Red: [narrating] Sometimes it makes me sad, though... Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them ...
[Kenny has just died in the hospital] Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars. Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman. Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him. Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was yo...
Prescott: [Plainview has just left a town meeting] Mr. Plainview! No! Where are you going? Plainview: I don't need the lease, thank you. Prescott: We need you, we need you to... Plainview: Too much confusion! Thank you for your time. Prescott: No, no...
Woody: Hey! Who moved my doodle pad way over here? Rex: [jumps in front of Woody] ROAR! Woody: Hey, how ya doin', Rex. Rex: [stops roaring] Were you scared? Tell me honestly. Woody: I was close to being scared that time. Rex: I'm going for fearsome h...
