I can't tell a joke to save my soul. It's just not my thing, though I love to listen to jokes.
Poetry is like making a joke. If you get one word wrong at the end of a joke, you've lost the whole thing.
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that does well, or the tour for the album that stiffs.
There were two things I used to do to seduce girls: jokes and music. Since I'm not a great pianist, jokes were my thing.
There used to be an old bad joke. I hope it's not so much a good joke anymore. 'Everybody's from Scranton; no one's in Scranton.'
I'm a bug on acting, which distinguishes Second City from a lot of other revues. It comes from the character, the behavior, and not from the jokes. I don't think jokes are funny. Humor comes out of character and out of situations the character is in.
I love doing theaters, cracking people up, hearing them physically roll in the aisles. But we need to get serious. These are serious times. No joke. No joke.
Usually, my favorite joke is whichever joke I most recently came up with that surprised me the first time I thought of it.
My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world.
People confuse the subject of the joke with the target of the joke, and they're very rarely the same.
Essentially a joke is creating an idea, whether sonic or visual, whether it's something musical or a traditional joke.
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
My parents are really funny. Laughter was a big part of my childhood. Of course, they tell a lot of bad jokes - but so do I. I tell a lot of bad jokes.
My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe.
A joke is a joke. There's an expression - I don't know if you have it - that's 'adding insult to injury.'
Sometimes I use my jokes as building blocks for larger bits. I like to draw and play music, so sometimes I do those things along with the jokes.
Stewardesses were a joke to many of us coming of age in the liberated Sixties. They were no joke in the women's movement that liberated us, however.
I think repeating yourself is a sign of old age, telling the same joke again and again. Especially if they're jokes that don't make people laugh.
A lot of comedies fall apart because they just go from joke to joke, and the characters are all sort of being crazy off on their own.
I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes.
What's cool about Twitter is that you can make a joke about something very of-the-moment or random that I wouldn't be able to joke about in stand-up.
