The Joker: I want... my phone call. I want it. I want it! I want my phone call! Detective Stephens: That's nice. The Joker: How many of your friends have I killed? Detective Stephens: I'm a twenty-year man. I can tell the difference between punks who...
The Joker: Tell your men they work for me now. This is my city. The Chechen: They won't work for a freak... The Joker: [mocking his accent] A freak... [pulls out his switchblade and tosses it to some goons, who grab the Chechen] The Joker: Why don't ...
Vicki Vale: What do you want? The Joker: My face on the one dollar bill. Vicki Vale: You must be joking. The Joker: Do I look like I'm joking?
Joker: Have you shipped a million of those things? Scientist at Axis Chemicals: Yes sir! Joker: Ship 'em ALL! We're gonna take 'em out a WHOLE NEW DOOR!
The Joker: Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight? Bruce Wayne: What? The Joker: I always ask that of all my prey. I just... like the sound of it. [shoots him]
[after Joker kills the sniper] Private Rafterman: [laughs] Hey Joker, we ought to put you up for the congressional medal of... ugly! Ha-ha! Donlon: Hard core man, hard core.
The Joker: Joker here. TV Technician: We got interference. Call the OB unit, will ya? The Joker: Now you fellas have said some pretty mean things. Some of which *were* true under that fiend, Boss Grissom. He *was* a thief, and a terrorist. On the oth...
The Joker: You know. I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us, Harvey. When you and, uh... Harvey Dent: Rachel! The Joker: Rachel were being abducted. I was sitting in Gordon's cage. Now, *I* didn't rig those charges. Harvey Dent: Your m...
So once I thought of the villain with a sense of humor, I began to think of a name and the name "the Joker" immediately came to mind. There was the association with the Joker in the deck of cards, and I probably yelled literally, 'Eureka!' because I ...
Joker: Bob, I want you to go down to the globe. Follow that reporter Knox. Take your camera. See what he knows about this Batman. And Bob... [imitates Grisson] Joker: Remember... you... are my number one... guy!
Joker: At midnight, I will dump twenty million in cash on the crowd. Don't worry about me, I've got enough. The Mayor: We are not prepared to discuss any deals. Joker: [pushes the Mayor off the TV] You heard it folks. Twenty million.
The Chechen: What do you propose? The Joker: It's simple. We, uh, kill the Batman. [mobsters laugh] Salvatore Maroni: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already? The Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
The Joker: Harvey, Harvey, Harvey Dent. [climbs up to the cab of a semi truck, the driver of which is dead or unconscious] The Joker: Oh, excuse me, I want to drive! [shoves him out and takes the wheel]
The Joker: [examining Vicki's work] Crap... crap... crap... crap... [sees pictures of war victims] The Joker: Ah! Now that's good work! The skulls... the bodies... you give it all such a glow! I don't know if it's art, but I like it!
The Joker: It's a funny world we live in. Speaking of which, do you know how I got these scars? Batman: No! But I know how you got these! [fires gauntlet blades into Joker's face]
[Andrea Beaumont has just called Arthur's office] Joker: Now ain't that a co-inky-dink? [grabs Arthur by his shirt] Joker: Here we are discussing the old man when the spawn of his loins just happens to call! Makes you want to laugh, doesn't it, Artie...
Joker: I'm impressed, lady. You're harder to kill than a cockroach on steroids. The Phantasm: So, you figured it out. [the Phantasm removes his mask to reveal Andrea Beaumont] Joker: Gotta hand it to you, nice scheme. Costume's a bit theatrical, but ...
Door Gunner: Git some! Git some! Git some, yeah, yeah, yeah! Anyone who runs, is a VC. Anyone who stands still, is a well-disciplined VC! You guys oughta do a story about me sometime! Private Joker: Why should we do a story about you? Door Gunner: 'C...
[Lau announces that he's removed all the mob's cash from their banks before the police raid, and stashed them in a secure location] Lau: For obvious reasons, I couldn't wait for your permission. Rest assured, your money is safe. [From outside comes t...
I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work.
The Joker: We made it!
