The Joker: I just did what I do best. I took your little plan and I turned it on itself. Look what I did to this city with a few drums of gas and a couple of bullets. Hmmm? You know... You know what I've noticed? Nobody panics when things go "accordi...
Vicki Vale: [distracting Joker] Mr. Joker, you say such beautiful things. Oh, you're so powerful. And purple! Oh, I love purple. Batman: Excuse me. [Joker looks] Batman: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? [punches him]
The Joker: I've recently had a tragedy in my life. Alicia... [lays the mask that Alicia wore on the table] The Joker: ...threw herself out of the window. Vicki Vale: Oh, my God. The Joker: But, you can't make an omelette without breaking some eggs. [...
Andrea Beaumont: You're not smiling, Joker. I thought you found death amusing. The Joker: Oh, me? You won't hear a giggle out of me. [Joker presses a button. Hazel the Robot laughs maniacally and attacks with a cleaver]
[the Joker sees a picture of Vicki Vale] Joker: Stop the press, who is that?
The Joker: New and improved Joker products! With a new secret ingredient: Smylex.
The Joker: Who is that loss? Bob the Goon: It's Knox. The Joker: Bad tie.
The Joker: My balloons. Those are my balloons. He stole my balloons! Why didn't somebody tell me he had one of those... things? Bob, gun. [Bob hands him a gun, Joker shoots him] The Joker: I'm gonna need a minute or two alone, boys.
[to Rotelli's charred and smoldering corpse] Joker: Your pals, uh, they're not bad people. Maybe we, uh, outta give them a couple of days to think it over. [shakes head] Joker: No? [looks surprised] Joker: Grease 'em now? Well, OK. You are a vicious ...
[Sal walks through the remains of the "Future of Gotham" park as the robots sing; then the Joker enters] Joker: I hate that song... Gasp! Can it be? Old Sallie "the Wheezer" Valestra! Welcome, paisan! It's been a dog's age! Salvatore "Sal The Wheezer...
My dream role is to play in a story of how the Joker became the Joker, and I would play the young Heath Ledger.
[Joker gives someone a hand and electrocutes him] Joker: Oh, I got a live one here!
The Joker: It can be truly said, that I have a bat in my belfry. [laughs] The Joker: Shall we dance?
The Chechen: Joker-man, what you do with all your money? The Joker: You see, I'm a guy of simple taste. I enjoy dynamite, and gunpowder, and gasoline! [he pours gasoline on the mountain of cash] The Chechen: [panicked] What the...? The Joker: Ah-ta-t...
[Joker reads the newspaper] The Joker: "Winged freak terrorizes"? Wait till they get a load of me!
[the Batwing is flying at Joker] The Joker: Come on, you gruesome son of a bitch! Come to me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Come on!
The Joker: [to Gambol's thugs, being held helpless by his own] Now, our operation is small, but there's a lot of potential for "aggressive" expansion. So, which one of you fine gentlemen would like to join our team? Oh, there's only one spot open rig...
[Pvt. Joker is doing pull-ups. Hartman counts them off] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: One for the Commandant! One for the Corps! Come on Joker, pull! Pull! [Pvt. Joker can't complete another pull-up] Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: I guess the Corps don't get ...
The Joker: [when Batman picks up the phone in Andrea's apartment] Hello, anybody home? Listen, boopsie, even though you never call and never write, I still got a soft spot for you. So I'm sending you a fun gift, airmail! And there's no use jumping ou...
Batman: [as Joker is holding Rachel out a window] Let her go! The Joker: [giving him a look] Very poor choice of words...
[while fighting with Batman, Joker knocks him down and raises a knife] The Joker: All the old familiar places...
