And I ask myself what it is about me that makes this wonderful, beautiful woman return. Is it because I'm pathetic, helpless in my current state, completely dependent on her? Or is it my sense of humour, my willingness to tease her, to joke my way in...
And now, while he didn't particularly think any of these stories was a bit truer, he did realize that he didn't really know his wife at all; and that in fact the entire conception of knowing another person--of trust, of closeness, of marriage itself-...
Day had gotten a little nervous during one session when the doctor asked God how he would handle someone hurting Day now and his lover responded by jerking one side of his leather coat open and pulling his long blade from its sheathe. “Easy, I’d ...
I couldn't think of anything helpful to say, so I resorted to humor, my shield of last resort. 'Just please tell me they don't have a dog and a picket fence.' He smiled. 'No fence, but a dog, two dogs.' 'What kind of dogs?' I asked. He smiled and gla...
What do you think that fish is?' Sam asked Astrid. She peered closely at the alleged fish. 'I think that's an example of ,' she said. 'Yeah?' Sam made a face. 'Do you think it's okay to eat?' Astrid sighed theatrically. ' ? Inedible? Joke, duh. Try t...
He liked to start sentences with okay, so. It was a habit he had picked up from the engineers. He thought it made him sound smarter, thought it made him sound like them, those code jockeys, standing by the coffee machine, talking faster than he could...
Small Man can be a very funny or a very tiresome Tour Companion, depending on how this kind of thing grabs you. He gambles, he drinks too much and he always runs away. Since the Rules allow him to make Jokes, he will excuse his behaviour in a variety...
In high school, we barely brushed against Ogden Nash, Lewis Carroll, Edward Lear, or any of the other so-unserious writers who delight everyone they touch. This was, after all, a very expensive and important school. Instead, I was force-fed a few of ...
Several Terminal Policy readers got together to tell Raker jokes: - Raker CAN piss into the wind. - Raker donates a lot of blood to the Red Cross -- just never his own. - Superman wears Raker pajamas. - When Raker jumps into the pool, he doesn't get ...
The world's a headmaster who works on your faults. I don't mean in a mystical or Jesus way. More how you'll keep tripping over a hidden step, over and over, till you finally understand: Watch out for that step! Everything that's wrong with us, if we'...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out? Bela Lugosi: I have no next picture. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined ...
Scott Smith: [reading a threatening note] 'Harvey Milk will have a dream journey and nightmare to hell. A night of horror. He will be stabbed and have your genitals, cock balls and prick cut off.' I'm calling the police. Harvey Milk: They probably wr...
[Uncle Charlie visits the bank] Uncle Charlie: Hello, Joe. Can you stop embezzling a minute and give me your attention? Joseph Newton: Oh, uh, Charles, we don't joke about such things here. Uncle Charlie: Aw, what's a little shortage in the books at ...
Scott Pilgrim: Hey so, can this not be a one-night stand? For one thing I didn't even get any. That was a joke. Ramona V. Flowers: What did you have in mind? Scott Pilgrim: Oh, come to this first round of this battle of the bands thing. Ramona V. Flo...
Roger: You figure that joke out, you'll figure the streets out. Alonzo Harris: There ain't nothing to figure out, that's just some senseless bullshit. Don't listen to him. Jake Hoyt: You know, I already figured 'em out. Alonzo Harris: Really? Roger: ...
Every Inch of the Way is a great page turning adventure which is as close as you can get, without actually saddling up and pedalling yourself into the unknown. It takes real magic to turn a great adventure, into a great book. For one thing, most peop...
All storytelling is a form of travel. All of the things you know you should do when traveling this world apply in Elfland as well. The Charms will open the doors to strange and wondrous lands, so some travel tips and runic etiquette may be in order: ...
All storytelling is a form of travel. All of the things you know you should do when traveling this world apple in Elfland as well. The Charms will open the doors to strange and wondrous lands, so some travel tips and runic etiquette may be in order: ...
By exiling human judgment in the last few decades, modern law changed role from useful tool to brainless tyrant. This legal regime will never be up to the job, any more than the Soviet system of central planning was, because ti can't think. The comed...
We shouldn’t do this,” he said again as he looked up into her eyes. “But, God, I want to. I just …” He closed his eyes, exhaled hard. “Pheeb. I’m a bad bet. There’s no future here. I know this feels big, this thing between us, right n...
I’m an old man, now. I’ve been alone since my 17th birthday. I’d wanted to marry, have a bunch of kids, and maybe be a grandpa. The big family around the Thanksgiving table, laughing and pouring wine and cracking jokes and harmlessly teasing th...
