Quotes of: Joke Keyword

I tend to have a lot of jokes about ex-girlfriends. They always ask me if they will be the subject of a joke, and I always tell them they won't. Unless they do something crazy. They all tend to, so you know where that goes. There are no closed doors....

Adam DeVine

Yo Mama’s so ugly, her Mama had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

155 World's Funniest YO MAMA Jokes

Yo Mama’s so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

155 World's Funniest YO MAMA Jokes

I learned from her that every woman is worried about her looks, no matter how beautiful she is.

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character

I couldn't claim that I was smarter than sixty-five other guys--but the average of sixty-five other guys, certainly!

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character

Withstanding the cold develops vigor for the relaxing days of spring and summer. Besides, in this matter as in many others, it is evident that nature abhors a quitter.

New England Joke Lore: The Tonic of Yankee Humor

Laughter is binary: It either happens or it doesn't. As each joke arrives in the course of a film, the cavernous space of the theater is either filled with joy and laughter or with the quiet of cringing embarrassment. Every time you step to the plate...

David Dobkin

For comedians, we're all kind of tweeting our thoughts instead of spending time developing them. You can gauge how good a joke might be by how many times it gets retweeted, but it takes discipline to go back through the tweets and then develop jokes ...

Natasha Leggero

The bad thing about being a famous comedian is that every now and then someone approaches me to tell an old joke. Don't tell me jokes - I have that. People also say the weirdest things, sometimes sarcastic things, and even evil things. They like to p...

Robin Williams

I personally don't feel any pressure to make jokes about multiple baby-fathers and stereotypical black jokes, because one, that's just not my life, and two, I wouldn't even sound right talking about those things.

Issa Rae

I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. I'm not Mr. Debonair Suave. I'm just a regular boy who goofs around, pulls pranks, and makes jokes. That doesn't sound very hot to me.

Jensen Ackles

When you've been doing comedy for forty years, you really do know most of the jokes. And even if you don't know a specific joke, you can pretty much guess what it's going to be.

John Cleese

I think those that are holier-than-thou don't make jokes. They take themselves too seriously and Peeta doesn't take himself too seriously. This is what I believe in and I'm comfortable with that and I can make a joke here and there.

Josh Hutcherson

I think one of my first jokes - in the black community, there's people who have jokes about skin tone. People like, 'You so black, you purple.' 'You so black, you gotta smile so we can see you at night.'

Hannibal Buress

Oogie Boogie Man: Well well well. What have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Ooo I'm really scared! So you're the one everybody's talking about? [laughs] Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're joking, you're joking/I can't believe my eyes/You're joking me, you...

The Nightmare Before Christmas

She'd stood by that creed. No softness, because the world wasn't soft; lots of laughter, because if you were in on the joke, the joke couldn't be on you; And no wanting what you couldn't take, because the world never gave. Or so she'd thought.

The Bridal Season

All the time you're saying to yourself, 'I could do that, but I won't,'--which is just another way of saying that you can't.

Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!: Adventures of a Curious Character

It's very interesting, the joke comes first and then the wording comes within five seconds, maybe ten seconds. My thing is to get the joke across in as few words as possible. However, sometimes a word that's not really needed does help the rhythm of ...

Steven Wright

The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about his own films' failure - once again - to be honored.

Dick Cavett

One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come up with funny lists and some jokes. I'm very lucky to have a gift where I can do that pretty ably.

John Hodgman

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on.

Bob Woodward