I became the storyteller of South Side Chicago. I used an old Kiwi liquid shoe polish as a microphone. I'd go around the house interviewing everybody, telling stupid jokes, doing voices. I mimicked Sidney Poitier, Sammy Davis Jr., people on 'Laugh-In...
Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood.
When I started doing standup when I was 17, I was talking about being Indian and specifically ethnic jokes. Straightforward stuff that was fairly ignorant that I knew would get the laugh. It wasn't flipping stereotypes; it was using them.
I used to have a group called Bad-Movie Saturday. Every Saturday, six of us would go see the worst movie that came out each weekend. It'd be noon in Burbank. It was just a running commentary. All executives - we would each talk through the movie and ...
I've definitely become smuttier. When I first started out, I had these aspirations: 'I'm not going to do jokes about anything crude because I'm bigger and better than that.' But then, I don't know... It makes me laugh, so I started doing it.
I am one of those guys who could do the most emotional scene and crack a joke instantly. I'm lucky. I'm just like an idiot savant. I have one enormously enjoyable, pleasurable - for me - talent, which is being able to act.
As Asian-Americans, the charge that is often lobbed against us is sort of the least original: the idea that somehow we're perpetual foreigners, that we can't be trusted, and that even my father, who was patriotic to the point that it was kind of a jo...
It seems to me that humour is everybody's way of keeping sane and standing off from the situations so that they can see it intellectually, as well as emotionally, and I don't know whether you've noticed, but if somebody tells a joke, it's nearly alwa...
In my early writing, all of my characters were exactly the same person. They all spoke the same, made the same types of jokes, reacted the same, etc. I think they were all just me in disguise.
Robert Ledgard: What's going on? Vera Cruz: I'm going to kill you. Robert Ledgard: This is a joke, right? Vera Cruz: Call it what you want. Robert Ledgard: But you promised! Vera Cruz: I lied.
In the second grade, I would just get bored and a joke would pop into my head and I would have to say it. It was almost like I had some brilliant novel in my head that I had to get down, and I would interrupt class all the time and get in trouble.
I'm looking for laughs, you know? If it take me to flip over a table, if I have to go physical comedy, I will do it. But whatever the joke needs at that particular time, is where I'm dedicated to. I'm not into beating somebody down and beating myself...
I haven't had television since 1991, and it definitely influences me. As a child of the 1970s, I couldn't hold a narrative in my head; I was lucky if I could hold a joke in my head, because every time you turn on television or radio, it wipes the sla...
The rationale for tenure is still valid. But the system has turned the academy into one of the most conservative and costly institutions in the country. Yes, conservative: Economists joke that their discipline advances one funeral at a time, but many...
Insp. Thomas: [answers phone] Thomas... Yes, that's right... Is this some sort of bloody joke?... What, now? Personally? Oh, yes, I'll... [cut to Thomas arriving at 10 Downing Street, the residence of the British Prime Minister]
Dalton Russell: [a cop peeks in the bank, Dalton comes out with his revolver and speaks in an accent] You come near here I start throwing bodies out the front door. I not fucking joking, man.
Cooper: You'd do this for us? TARS: Before you get all teary, try to remember that as a robot, I have to do anything you say. Cooper: Your cue light's broken. TARS: I'm not joking. *Flashes cue light*
Karen Clarke: I am gonna go into Linton's office and I'm gonna pull the little pin on that fucking grenade. Liza Weld: Don't do that. Karen Clarke: I'm fucking joking. I'm not gonna do that.
[in a pancake restaurant] Raymond: Maple syrup is supposed to be on the table before the pancakes. Charlie: Ray. Raymond: Yeah? Charlie: [Presents a container of maple syrup] Ta da. Raymond: Ha ha. Charlie Babbitt made a joke.
Jack: I'm going to impale your mom on a spike and feed her dead body to my dog with syphilis. Brad: Ha, you got me! Jack: [to Nick and Joey Naylor] Inside joke.
I want every idea I have to make me money. I want every post I write to have 10,000 Facebook likes. I want every talk I give to have people laughing at all the right jokes. I want everyone to like me all the time.
