Don Altobello: [regarding Vincent] This is the hero who put Joey Zasa in his grave. If we'd known of his existence, we would never have backed Joey. Don Lucchesi: No one wants another Joe.
Shirley Wershba: Name me one woman who asks her husband to take off his wedding ring before he goes to work. Joe Wershba: Ava Gardner.
[Deleted scene; accountant exits after sharing some bad news] Ray Vargo: [stunned] Is he gay? Sonny Valerio: He drives a Porsche... [pause] Joe Rags: He's gay!
Joe: Thank you, Randy. I was sure you'd see it my way. Take good care of yourself. Randy Kennan: I'll take care of myself, mister. That's my specialty.
Sara: This is a Remington 870. One blast could cut you the fuck in half. Joe: In half. Yeah, that's telling. You're holding a gun, I say I'm not afraid, so you describe the gun to me. It's not the gun I'm not afraid of.
Abe: My great-grandfather told my grandfather, "Men are like spiders. It's the little ones you've got to be careful of." Joe: Don't know I agree with that. Abe: Yeah? Huh. What the fuck did my great-grandfather know?
Joe Buck: I'm brand, spankin' new in this here town and I was hopin' to get a look at the Statue of Liberty. Cass: It's up in Central Park, taking a leak. If you hurry, you can catch the supper show.
[Diane is about to give the hitman his money] Joe Messing: Now, once you hand that over to me, it's a done deal. Are you sure you want this? Diane Selwyn: More than anything in this world.
Joe Bradley: Now, come on. You're not that drunk. Princess Ann: [laughing] If you're so smart I'm not drunk at all. I'm just being [her head falls against his chest] Princess Ann: verrrrry haaaappy...
Princess Ann: I could do some of the things I've always wanted to. Joe Bradley: Like what? Princess Ann: Oh, you can't imagine. I-I'd do just whatever I liked all day long.
[last lines] Joe Oramas: It's the librarian fantasy, man. Glasses off, hair down, books flying. Finbar McBride: She doesn't wear glasses. Olivia Harris: Well, buy her some, it's worth it.
Betty Schaefer: Perhaps the reason I hated "Bases Loaded" is that I knew your name. I'd always heard you had some talent. Joe Gillis: That was last year. This year I'm trying to earn a living.
Joe Gillis: So they were turning after all, those cameras. Life, which can be strangely merciful, had taken pity on Norma Desmond. The dream she had clung to so desperately had enfolded her.
Max Von Mayerling: You see those offices up there? That was Madame's dressing room, the whole row. Joe Gillis: Didn't leave much for Wallace Reid. Max Von Mayerling: Oh, he had a big bungalow on wheels.
Jerry: [Joe used a "Cary Grant" voice when posing as a millionaire] What are you trying to do to that poor girl, putting on a millionaire act? And, where did you get that phony accent? Nobody "talks loike thet"!
[Jerry and Joe are in the elevator with Spats and his goons] Spats' Henchman: Excuse me, ain't I had the pleasure of meetin' you two broads before? Jerry: Oh, no. You must be thinking of two other broads.
[Lee Donowitz is discussing possible titles for his next film] Lee: What does Joe like? Elliot: Um... "Body Bags 2". Lee: [Sarcastically] Oooo, that's imaginative. I've got more taste in my penis.
Charlie Bucket: [to Grandpa Joe, after opening the Wonka bar they think has the last Golden Ticket in it] You know... I'll bet those Golden Tickets make the chocolate taste terrible.
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