Even if I accepted that Jesus - like almost every other prophet on record - was born of a virgin, I cannot think that this proves the divinity of his father or the truth of his teachings. The same would be true if I accepted that he had been resurrec...
Jay: You should read your Bible, sirs. You'll find all types of weird shit in there. Like, did you know Jesus was a Jew? Teen #2: [pause] Yeah.
Ricky Walsh: Next, fourteen dumptrucks stolen from a yard in Staten Island. Fourteen! Jesus! Somebody starting a construction company? Joe Lambert: No, it was John's landlady, gonna clean his apartment.
Raoul Duke: Jesus, bad waves of paranoia, madness, fear and loathing - intolerable vibrations in this place. Get out. The weasels were closing in. I could smell the ugly brutes.
Raoul Duke: [hallucinating being attacked by lizards] Jesus God almighty, look at that bunch over there man! They've spotted us! Dr. Gonzo: That's the press table, man.
[Ghost Dog storms in and aims his guns at Vargo and his Consigliere] Old Consigliere: JESUS, IT'S THE FUCKING BIRD MAN! [has heart attack and dies instead of getting shot]
Jesus: You think God belongs only to you? He doesn't. God is an immortal spirit who belongs to everybody, to the whole world. You think you're special? God is not an Israelite.
Jesus: If I was a woodcutter, I'd cut. If I was a fire, I'd burn. But I'm a heart and I love. That's the only thing I can do.
Jesus: Do you think that God belongs only to you? He doesn't: God's an immortal spirit who belongs to everybody! To the whole world! You think, you are special? God is not an Israelite!
The Lion: I feel sorry for you. You were lonely. You cried, so I came. Jesus: [wary] I didn't call for you. Who are you? The Lion: Your spirit.
Saul: [to Jesus in the World without the Crucifixion] You know, I'm glad I've met you. Because now I can forget all about you.
Jesus: Why has it changed so much? Girl Angel/Satan: It hasn't changed. You have. Now you can see its real beauty.
Leo O'Bannion: You hear about Rug? Tom Reagan: Yeah, RIP. Leo O'Bannion: They took his hair, Tommy. Jesus, that's strange, why would they do that? Tom Reagan: Maybe it was injuns.
Choi: Hallelujah. You're my savior, man. My own personal Jesus Christ. Neo: If you get caught using that... Choi: I know. This never happened. You don't exist. Neo: Right.
Photographer: Run out of film? Keith Jennings: Saving it for his canonization. Photographer: How's that? Keith Jennings: I don't know if we've got the heir to the Thorn millions here or Jesus Christ Himself.
Poncho: [Seeing the body of the pig that almost killed Mac] Jesus, you killed a pig... think you could found something bigger? Sergeant Mac Eliot: [Billy laughs loudly] Fuck you Poncho! Fuck you!
Captain Hadley: If I hear so much as a mouse fart in here the rest of the night I swear by God and sonny Jesus you will all visit the infirmary. Every last motherfucker in here.
Johnny Hooker: Luther! Good God, we're millionaires! Luther: Jesus! Did you know he was that loaded? Johnny Hooker: Hell no. I just cut into him. I woulda settled for pawning one of them shoes.
Stan: Hey, guys. Do you know where I can find the clitoris? Kyle: The what? Cartman: What, is that like finding Jesus or something?
Fatty Rossiter: It was already loaded. Jesus, Clyde, you have three pistols and you only have one arm for Christ's sake. Clyde: Well I just don't want to be killed for lack of shootin' back.
Withnail: [spits onto the ground] Jesus, look at that. Apart from a raw potato, that's the only solid to have passed my lips in the last 60 hours. I must be ill.
