I have very little experience with dating websites. My feeling toward dating websites is what most people's is: If it works, great. If you're serious and legitimate about it and know what you're looking for, then from what I hear, it's definitely eff...
On 'The Guiding Light' I enjoyed working with Jamie Goodwin and Ellen Parker, who played my sister. I loved working with Jerry Ver Dorn and Jay Hammer. I mean, there's some great fun people that I've really enjoyed.
Right when 'High School Musical' was taking off, one of my little cousins called and was really excited to tell me there was a huge 'I Hate Zac Efron' club at her school. I'm sure they're doing great. More power to them.
I have had issues with depression all my life, and it's probably true to say there was a tendency towards it even when I was very young, during my schooldays. There was often - and this is quite common with comics - a sense of not feeling as if I bel...
I always had a sketchbook with me when I was young. I was hiding behind it, basically, hiding behind drawing because I couldn't cope with people in real life; I was very shy and very nervous around people.
Bob Weir calls me a saint, but I'm 'Saint Misbehavin'.' They're making a documentary about my life, and that's the current shooting title. I can roll with that, but otherwise the s-word makes me really paranoid.
The talk show, as a genre, has been in decline for a while. It started with Jerry Springer, when the talk shows suffered a metamorphosis, going from the real and social issues to the hair-raising.
Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'
Lazy doesn't exist. Lazy is a symptom of something else. The person who can't get up off their butt is just a person who's depressed. It's usually a pervasive lack of self-worth, or a feeling of helplessness.
Jerry and I always felt that the character was enjoying himself. He was having fun: he wasn't taking himself seriously. It was always a lark for him, as you can see in my early drawings.
I did a gig at a comedy club in Bournemouth where they served a buffet while the acts were on. There was the clang of people carving turkey during the set. If you put comedy and turkey side by side, turkey always wins.
Some comics have long routines to get them in the mood - I just prefer to sit down, write out the same jokes in a different order and then have a little prayer that I won't be met by silence.
So what we are right now is a pair of dickweeds in a hotel room in Sydney. My life is royally fucked up right now and from where I’m sitting, your life is even bloody worse.
One Saturday in 1984, I walked into my first AA meeting. I went regularly for six years and only stopped when I came to realize my underlying problem was not genuine alcoholism, but depression.
Jerry Thompson: He made an awful lot of money. Mr. Bernstein: Well, it's no trick to make a lot of money... if what you want to do is make a lot of money.
John McClane: [opens door of dump truck] You're a truck driver? Jerry Parks: No I'm a beautician. Of course I'm a truck driver!
Max Jerry Horovitz: The reason I forgive you is because you are not perfect. You are imperfect. And so am I. All humans are imperfect.
Sometimes I feel like if two parents were given $100, and a child-free person was given $100, everyone would assume that the parents would invest their money wisely because they're smart. And people like me would just go buy candy.
Some things I won't do for any amount of money. Like for instance, there's a couple of CEOs of very large corporations that offered me lots of money to do special pictures for them. And I just refused to do that. Even if it was a million dollars I wo...
I find it strange the way human nature wants heroes and yet wants to destroy their heroes. It's a kind of mass insecurity people want something to look up to and get a buzz off but, at the same time, want to destroy it because it makes them feel inse...
It was he who impressed, time and again, the necessity of singing as nature intended, and - I remember - he constantly warned, don't let the public know that you work. So I went slowly. I never forced the voice.
