I listened to this interview once with Jerry Seinfeld that really influenced my comedy and all of my writing, which is that when you're starting out in comedy, it's the audience that tells you what's funny about you. And you need to listen to that an...
Until I was about 14, I was a fat boy, or at least I looked like a fat boy. I think that being funny was a bit of a defence mechanism for me, so I ended up being a bit of a joker.
Have you ever tried to talk to a baby or a toddler? They never look you square in the eyes, they know about three words, and God forbid they ever ask you how you're doing. It's all about them!
I don't think my life would be significantly poorer if I don't impersonate Nick Clegg. Life is short enough without sitting up night after night listening to tapes of him.
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on.
To let the people know there was life beyond Shirley Dean, we decided to focus on voter registration; each day I set up my card table somewhere in the district, signed people up, and passed out noses.
One of the blessings I've had, really, for my entire career, is working with founders of companies, whether it was Bill Ziff at Ziff Davis or with Jerry Yang and David Filo at Yahoo.
I completely appreciate the importance of fathers but millions of children are without loving homes. I think a child is lucky with one parent who truly loves her.
Me and Jerry left because we felt we weren't getting anywhere playing our old songs in tiny clubs. The group was getting stale and staying behind the times.
I think it is more a cautiousness that protects me from enthusiasm about things. I tend not to get excited. People perceive it as a scowl, which is fair enough.
It's something that has informed quite a lot of my comedy - that idea of someone who is always trying to get in there with the right crowd, always trying to be a certain type of person and never managing it.
My character, Rick Spleen, is a what-if version of me, really, where nothing did quite turn out right and everything else is still around the corner.
If you happen to believe what Ben & Jerry's is supporting and involved in, then you should support the company. If you don't believe in what we are supporting, don't support it.
I like that Ben & Jerry's is willing to speak out about social and political issues that aren't always safe - but are the right thing to do.
So many actors are lively-minded, creative people who just tread water in this awful way, waiting for the phone to ring and doing their hair for auditions. It feels like a bit of a dreamer's life - as opposed to a sensible ventriloquist's life.
I tried to be as thorough as I can, but there is a responsibility that we all have, especially with something like AA which is dependant on anonymity. Once you start banging on about it the whole time, you are potentially damaging the whole concept o...
Max Jerry Horovitz: Not much has happened since I last wrote except for my manslaughter charges, lotto win, and Ivy's death.
Max Jerry Horovitz: It would be good if there was a Fat Fairy. She would be a bit like the Tooth Fairy but would suck out your fat.
Max Jerry Horovitz: Dear Mary, please find enclosed my entire Noblet collection as a sign that I forgive you.
Max Jerry Horovitz: [to Mary] Have you ever been a communist? Have you ever been attacked by a crow or similar large bird?
Jerry The Banker: [concluding negotiation] Hey Tony, how's married life treating you? Tony Montana: Better than you are.
