[Jerry and Joe are in the elevator with Spats and his goons] Spats' Henchman: Excuse me, ain't I had the pleasure of meetin' you two broads before? Jerry: Oh, no. You must be thinking of two other broads.
Jerry Lundegaard: You see, my wife's dad is real well off. Carl Showalter: So, why don't you just ask him for the money? Gaear Grimsrud: Or your fucking wife, you know. Carl Showalter: Or your fuckin' wife, Jerry? Jerry Lundegaard: Well, it's all par...
For me, humor is everything!
Humor is a part of spirituality.
I believe in walking in the Spirit.
Jerry Lundegaard: Well, heck, if you wanna play games here! I'm workin' with ya on this thing, but I... Okay, I'll do a damned lot count! Marge Gunderson: Sir? Right now? Jerry Lundegaard: Sure, right now! You're darned tootin'!
Joe: There's another problem. Jerry: Like what? Joe: Like, what are you gonna do on your honeymoon? Jerry: We've been discussing that. He wants to go to the Riviera but I kinda lean towards Niagara Falls.
Dr. Josiah Boone: Jerry, I'll admit as one man to another that, economically, I haven't been of much value to you. But do you suppose you could put one on credit? Jerry (bartender): If talk was money, Doc, you'd be the best customer I got.
Laughter is an instant vacation.
Organized Christianity that fails to make a disturbance is dead.
The Emmys are flat-out fun.
Humor is reason gone mad.
A boy is naturally full of humor.
God has never, in the history of mankind, allowed his name to go long offended.
I don't make any money.
When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, l...
I was a precocious child.
Public crucifixion is no fun.
The Lord does not forgive excuses, He forgives sin.
I'm not good at being static. I have to be climbing a mountain.
We are a unified party.
