Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? W...
[Goodspeed's Beatles album arrives at the office] Stanley Goodspeed: Yes! She's here, bring it to me now, thank you Phil! Isherwood: What's that? And why did you have it sent here? Stanley Goodspeed: Carla wouldn't approve. She thinks it's dumb to sp...
FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas? Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Someh...
General Al Kramer: Wait a minute. What is the potential casualty rate for a single rocket armed with VX poison gas, General Peterson? General Peterson: Sixty or seventy... Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Well, that's-that's not so bad. General Peters...
Mr. Pink: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fucking time and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled *six* times. Mr. Blonde: Six times. Well, what if she's too fucking busy? Mr. Pink: The words "t...
Mr. Pink: [entering the warehouse] Was that a fucking setup, or what? [sees Mr. White tending to a seriously wounded Mr. Orange] Mr. Pink: Shit. Orange got tagged? Mr. White: Gut shot. Mr. Pink: Fuck. Where's Brown? Mr. White: Dead. Mr. Pink: How did...
Rudy: We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. We're gonna get 'em on the run boys and once we get 'em on the run we're gonna keep 'em on the run. And then we're gonna go go go go go go and we're not gonna stop til we get ac...
Mateus: [at practice, Rudy remains on the ground after being pummeled on a block by Mateus] Hey, little buddy, you all right? Coach Yonto: Ruettiger, get out! Rudy: [springs up, refusing to be taken out] I can do it, coach! Rudy: [play is run again, ...
Mateus: Hey man, I just want to say sorry about what I said at practice. Rudy: Don't be sorry. Mateus: Do you understand that if you don't cool it out there you're going to get yourself killed? Rudy: If I cool it out there, then I won't be helping yo...
[first lines] [subtitled version] Narrator: Man... probably the most mysterious species on our planet. A mystery of unanswered questions. Who are we? Where do we come from? Where are we going? How do we know what we think we know? Why do we believe a...
Herman Blume: What does Guggenheim say? Max Fischer: Nothing. I felt I should go to you first. Herman Blume: Why? Max Fischer: Because at this moment I feel our best strategy is to keep a low profile. The more preparation I can do, the stronger our c...
Colette: What are you doing? Linguini: [stammering] Uh, I'm cutting vegetables. I'm cutting the... vegetables? Colette: No! You waste energy and time! You think cooking is a cute job, eh? Like Mommy in the kitchen? Well, Mommy never had to face the d...
Blue Stanton: Coach we need a water break, we been out here all day! Coach Boone: What did you say? Blue Stanton: Said, we need a water break. Coach Boone: A water break? Water is for cowards. Water makes you weak. Water is for washing blood off that...
Sheryl Yoast: Coach Boone, you did a good job up here. You ran a tough camp from what I can see. Coach Boone: Well I'm very happy to have the approval of a 5 year old. Sheryl Yoast: I'm 9 and a half, thank you very much. Coach Boone: Why don't you ge...
Coach Boone: [after Gary got into his car accident] I don't know mama, maybe Yost was right. Maybe I pushed him too hard. Carol Boone: Gary had an accident. Sometimes life's just hard, for no reason at all. Coach Boone: Do you think I was blinded by ...
Peter Bradley: [interviewing Eli Cash on television] Now, your previous novel... Eli: Yes, Wildcat. Peter Bradley: Not a success. Why? Eli: Well... Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular... [long pause as he starts to become spaced out]...
Stella: You heard of that market crash in '29? I predicted that. Jeff: Oh, just how did you do that, Stella? Stella: Oh, simple. I was nursing a director of General Motors. Kidney ailment, they said. Nerves, I said. And I asked myself, "What's Genera...
William Somerset: I just don't think I can continue to live in a place that embraces and nurtures apathy as if it was virtue. David Mills: You're no different. You're no better. William Somerset: I didn't say I was different or better. I'm not. Hell,...
Police Captain: [to Mills] What do you think? David Mills: I'm in. Mark Swarr: It has to be both of you. William Somerset: If he were to claim insanity, this conversation is admissable. The fact that he's blackmailing us with his plea... Mark Swarr: ...
Betty Schaefer: Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Gillis, but I just didn't think it was any good. I found it flat and trite. Joe Gillis: Exactly what kind of material do you recommend? James Joyce? Dostoyevsky? Betty Schaefer: I just think that pictures should say...
Miss Scott: It's 3 o'clock in the morning! General "Buck" Turgidson: Weh-heh-heh-ll, the Air Force never sleeps. Miss Scott: Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either... General "Buck" Turgidson: I know how it is, baby. Tell you what you do: you just start ...
