When there is extra to be eaten, I’ll be there, and I’ll be hungry. When there is more love than people to absorb it all, I’ll be there, and I’ll invite my clones.
She asked if I loved another woman, so I answered honestly and said, “Dinner was great, but I could go for dessert.
Love is like a corn-dog popsicle, and I’m on the Most Wanted list. Unfortunately it’s by the government, specifically the FDA, and not by women.
Love is about forgiveness. And since I love you, you should forgive me.
You have to be fun to ride roller coasters. And you have to be tall. My love for you is both of those things, even though I disguise it as a dwarf.
In a blind taste-test, my kisses were rated as Helen Kelleresque. Women love how the only sense I keenly possess is nonsense.
Love will make a man do some funny things, like tightrope walking across a telephone wire, rather than simply picking up the phone to call or text.
Love has boundaries, like a map, and I guess that makes me a cartographer. Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re too topographical for my taste.
Love doesn’t have form (aside from your naked body), but it does have a shape. The shape of love is circular, like a STOP sign.
Cages are good. My heart is in my rib cage, and love is in my heart. We should put more things in cages, like politicians.
I believe in true love. But my opinion is tainted, because I also believe in Bigfoot, aliens, and in the existence of honest politicians.
We made love like I make grilled cheese sandwiches. I had no idea what I was doing, but she melted into me all the same.
My computer file is zipped, but my pants are not. Let us make love like 1968, before Al Gore invented the internet.
I don’t embark on journeys like the bark of a dog, but more like the bark of a tree. The path to love winds through a densely wooded forest.
We made love like Wednesday and Thursday, only Thursday wasn’t always on top. Her name was Yesterday, and today will always remind me of her.
In a cube of awesomeness, I am the lemonade of longing. My love has twelve edges, like a pack of razorblades to an edgy suicidal maniac.
It has been found that reading love quotes is beneficial to your health. It has been found by me, and I found it under my bed.
Making love to me is amazing. Wait, I meant: making love, to me, is amazing. The absence of two little commas nearly transformed me into a sex god.
Not many men will love you like me. Of course, I’m not many men. I’m just several men. Or I will be, once my clones arrive.
The best reason to fall in love is because you’re alive, your heart is open, and your wallet is empty. I prefer women with lots of money.
We made love like green is blue. That’s because we were only half into it, though for the record I was the blue and she was the disinterested yellow.
