Iris: So, what are you doing in Las Vegas? Raymond: We're counting cards. Iris: You're counting cards? Raymond: We're counting cards. Iris: That's interesting. Raymond: We're counting cards. Iris: I know you're counting cards, what else are you doing...
[Charlie is pulling Raymond's books off the shelves, leaving Raymond nervous] Charlie: You read The Twelth Night? Raymond: I don't know. V-E-R-N. Charlie: You read Macbeth? Raymond: Yes. Charlie: So you read all these stories and you don't know if yo...
Brandon Shaw: It is a little difficult trying to keep up with your romances. After me came Kenneth, now it's David. Why the, the switch from Kenneth to David anyway? Janet Walker: Obviously I think he's nicer. Brandon Shaw: Well, he's certainly riche...
Gusteau: [on the TV] You must be imaginative, strong-hearted. You must try things that may not work, and you must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from. Your only limit is your soul. What I say is true - anyone can cook... ...
Skinner: Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking? Linguini: It's not. Skinner: I KNEW IT! Linguini: It's my... second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time. But I've taken out the garbage lots of times bef...
Coach Yoast: All right, now, I don't want them to gain *another yard!* * You blitz... all... night!* If they cross the line of scrimmage, I'm gonna take every last one of you out! You make sure they remember, *forever*, the night they played the Tita...
Coach Boone: We will be perfect in every aspect of the game. You drop a pass, you run a mile. You miss a blocking assignment, you run a mile. You fumble the football, and i will break my foot off in your John Brown hind parts and then you will run a ...
Coach Boone: Now I may be a mean cuss. But I'm the same mean cuss with everybody out there on that football field. The world don't give a damn about how sensitive these kids are, especially the young black kids. You ain't doin' these kids a favor by ...
Jeff: [into the phone] He killed a dog last night because the dog was scratching around in the garden. You know why? Because he had something buried in that garden that the dog scented. Lt. Doyle: [voice] Like an old hambone? Jeff: I don't know what ...
Jeff: I just can't figure it. He went out several times last night in the rain carrying his sample case. Stella: Well, he's a salesman, isn't he? Jeff: Well, what would he be selling at three o'clock in the morning? Stella: Flashlights. Luminous dial...
Jayden: Please don't be offended if I'm not very friendly, but I'm going to be living with my dad soon, and I don't really like wasting time on short-term relationships. So, you know, it's nothing personal. Luis: Wow. She seems like a really nice gir...
Darth Vader: Yes, Admiral? Admiral Piett: Our ships have sighted the Millennium Falcon, Lord. But it has entered an asteroid field and we can not risk... Darth Vader: [interupting] Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
C-3PO: [on Han's escape plan] I really don't see how that is going to help! Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances! The Empire may be gracious enough to... [Han signals to Leia, who shuts 3PO down]
C-3PO: [Chewbacca is carrying the dismembered C3PO on his back] If only you'd attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish!
P.L. Travers: Aren't you going to pour it for us? Polly: You're perfectly capable of pouring it your self. P.L. Travers: She's quite the worst maid I've ever had. Diarmuid Russell: So why do you keep her? P.L. Travers: I don't know. She reminds me of...
Lily Sloane: [pointing a phaser] I don't care who you're with! Get me the hell out of here! NOW! Captain Jean-Luc Picard: That's not going to be easy. Lily Sloane: Well, you'd better find a way to make it easy, soldier, or I'm going to start PUSHING ...
Max Denoff: [telling a joke to the train passengers] Woman always mess up my last name. I was with a girl the other night and she kept calling me "Getoff." She was like, "Getoff! Getoff!" I'm like, "No, it's Denoff. Denoff." She says, "No, you're fat...
Ed: Do you want your messages? Shaun: What? Ed: Well, your mum rang about you going around tomorrow night, and then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight. Shaun: *What*...
Doc: The, uh, Princess will sleep in our beds upstairs. Snow White: But, where will you sleep? Doc: Oh, we'll be quite comfortable down here, in, uh, in, uh. Grumpy: In a pig's eye! Doc: In a pig's eye. Sty. No! No! I mean we'll be comfortable, won't...
Kay Eiffel: [sees Harold for the first time] Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Harold Crick: Miss Eiffel? Kay Eiffel: Your hair. Your eyes. Your fingers. Your shoes. Harold Crick: Hello. I'm Harold Crick. Kay Eiffel: I know.
Sugar: [on the yacht Junior's pretending he owns] Which is the port and which is the starboard? Junior: Well that depends. That depends on whether you're coming or going. I mean, *normally*, normally, the aft is on the other side of the stern. But - ...
