Sean: I knew you before you were a mathematical god, when you were pimple-faced and homesick and didn't know what side of the bed to piss on! Lambeau: Yeah, you were smarter than me then and you're smarter than me now. So don't blame me for how your ...
M. Gustave: Serge X, missing. Deputy Kovacs, also missing. Madame D, dead. Boy With Apple, stolen. By us. Dmitri and Jopling, ruthless, cold-blooded savages. Gustave H, at large. What else? Zero: Zero, confused. M. Gustave: Zero, confused, indeed. Th...
Dmitri: [about M. Gustave] This criminal has plagued my family for nearly 20 years. He's a ruthless adventurer and a con artist who preys on mentally feeble, sick old ladies! And he probably fucks them, too! M. Gustave: I go to bed with all my friend...
M. Gustave: [Of Mme. Celine] She was dynamite in the sack, by the way. Zero: ...She was 84, Monsieur Gustave. M. Gustave: Mmm, I've had older. When you're young, it's all filet steak, but as the years go by, you have to move on to the cheap cuts. Whi...
Serge X.: Forgive me, Monsieur Gustave, I never meant to betray you. They threatened my life and now they've murdered my only family. M. Gustave: No! Who'd they kill this time? Serge X.: My dear sister. M. Gustave: The girl with the club foot? Serge ...
[alternate wording from cable TV version] Dr Ray Stantz: Your honor, our system was working just fine until the power grid was turned off by wally wick here. Walter Peck: They caused an explosion! Mayor: [to Venkman] Is this true? Dr. Peter Venkman: ...
Pete Dunham: So what were you studyin' before this geezer stitched ya up? Matt Buckner: [Hesitates] ... History Pete Dunham: History? I teach history! Matt Buckner: [surprised] You teach? Pete Dunham: Yes... cheeky slag! History and P.E. What you thi...
[about the unrest in Cuba] Michael Corleone: I saw a strange thing today. Some rebels were being arrested. One of them pulled the pin on a grenade. He took himself and the captain of the command with him. Now, soldiers are paid to fight; the rebels a...
[addressing his troops] Maximus: Fratres! [Cavalry addresses Maximus] Maximus: Three weeks from now, I will be harvesting my crops. Imagine where you will be, and it will be so. Hold the line! Stay with me! If you find yourself alone, riding in the g...
Gracchus: Fear and wonder, a powerful combination. Falco: You really think people are going to be seduced by that? Gracchus: I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob. Conjure magic for them and they'll be distracted. Take away their freedom and...
Dr. Wagner: You must protect her from any kind of excitement. And I do mean any kind, Mr. Kerner. Alexander Kerner: Any kind of excitement. Dr. Wagner: It would be life-threatening. Alexander Kerner: And this here? [Shows the doctor a newspaper readi...
Hal: Percy. Something to say? Percy Wetmore: I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet. Hal: How many years you spend pissing on a toilet seat before someone told you to put it up? Paul Edgecomb: Percy fucked up, Hal, pure and simple. Hal: Is t...
Conrad: This is for you. Nicholas: You shouldn't have. Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything? Nicholas: [reading card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs. Conrad: Call that number. Nicholas: Why? Conrad: Ma...
Mouth: You know, I just want to say thank you. For offering to save my life. Stef: Wow! Thank you it's a real moment. You know your voice is kind of nice when your mouth isn't screwing it up. Mouth: Yeah and your looks kind of pretty. When your face ...
Francis Fratelli: Sloth stop that. Jake Fratelli: Do you remember when we took you to the Bronx Zoo and left you there? Francis Fratelli: We've never been to the Bronx Zoo! Jake Fratelli: Do you remember the time we were going to get your teeth fixed...
Mallory: You think you've been getting away with it all this time, standing by. Well, son... your bystanding days are over! You're in it now, up to your neck! They told me that you're a genius with explosives. Start proving it! [gesturing with his pi...
Ryan Stone: C'mon Matt, talk to me. Tell me where you are, give me your position. Where are you? Give me a visual, tell me what you see. C'mon, you've been yammering since we left Cape Canaveral, *now* you decide to shut up? Talk to me! Just say some...
Dave Moss: [on Ricky] He's the top man on the board so he doesn't have to sit here and listen to this shit? Williamson: That's correct! And as the hour is waning I suggest you those of you who are interested in a continuing job with this organization...
Ricky Roma: Wait, wait. wait. Where are the phones? George Aaronow: They stole. Ricky Roma: They stole? George Aaronow: What kind of an outfit is when... Ricky Roma: They stole the phones. George Aaronow: ...criminals come and they, they... take, the...
Pam: So how exactly does one become a stuntman? Stuntman Mike: Well, in Hollywood, anyone fool enough to throw themselves down a flight of stairs can usually find someone to pay them for it. But really, I got into the business the way most people get...
Batô: Chief, you ever question the ethics of the neurosurgeons who monkey around inside your brain? Section 9 Department Chief Aramaki: They undergo psychiatric evaluations, especially those in security. They're subjected to a stringent screening of...
