Pam: [Stuck in Stuntman Mike's car] If you just stop right now, you know, and, and let me out, I'll never tell anybody... Stuntman Mike: Hey, Pam, remember when I said this car was death proof? Well, that wasn't a lie. This car is a hundred percent d...
Tuco: I never hurt anybody! Officer: ...wanted in 14 counties of this state, the condemned is found guilty of the crimes of murder, armed robbery of citizens, state banks and post offices, the theft of sacred objects, arson in a state prison, perjury...
One-armed Union soldier: [Wallace and Tuco are at the train station, handcuffed together] Hey, corporal, afraid he'll get lost? Where's the Rebel going? Cpl. Wallace: To Hell, with a rope around his neck and a price on his head. Tuco: Yeah... three t...
Roberta: [looking at a drawing of a man smashing another man's head in with a sledgehammer] What can you tell us about your piece, er... Phillip? Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator. Roberta: [smiling] My goodness! Phillip: It's a really great vi...
Rebecca: See that guy over there? Enid: Which one? Rebecca: The blonde guy over there. [Enid spots him and rolls her eyes] Rebecca: He gives me, like, a total boner. Enid: He's, like, the biggest idiot of all time. Reggae Fan: [walking past with his ...
Harry Potter: You were right. When you told Professor Snape that wand was failing you. It will always fail you! Lord Voldemort: I killed Snape! Harry Potter: But what if that wand never belonged to Snape? What if its allegiance was always to someone ...
Professor Trelawney: Your aura is pulsing! Are you in the beyond? I think you are! Ron: Sure... Professor Trelawney: Look at the cup, tell me what you see! Ron: Oh yeah... well, Harry's got a sort of wonky cross... that's trials and suffering. And, u...
Stan Shunpike: What did you say your name was again? Harry: I didn't. Stan Shunpike: Well, whereabouts are you headed? Harry: The Leaky Cauldron! That's in London. Stan Shunpike: D'you hear that, Ern? The Leaky Cauldron, that's in London. Shrunken He...
Hermione: Headmaster, you've got to stop them! They've got the wrong man! Harry: It's true, sir! Sirius is innocent! Ron: It's Scabbers who did it. Dumbledore: Scabbers? Ron: He's my rat, sir. Well he's not really a rat. Well, he was a rat, he was my...
[about the newspaper clipping Ron was showing Harry and Hermione] George Weasley: Not flashing that clipping again, are you, Ron? Ron: I haven't shown anyone! Fred Weasley: No, not a soul! Unless you count Tom. George Weasley: The day maid. Fred Weas...
Harry: Tell me about Peter Pettigrew! Professor Lupin: He was at school witth us, we thought he was our friend. Harry: No, Pettigrew's dead. [to Sirius] Harry: You killed him. Professor Lupin: No he didn't! I thought so too, until you mentioned seein...
Dain: I will not stand down before any elf! Not least this faithless Woodland sprite! He wishes nothing but ill upon my people! If he chooses to stand between me and my kin, I'll split his pretty head open! See if he's still smirking then! Thranduil:...
Check-Out Woman: Where's your mom? Kevin McCallister: In the car. Check-Out Woman: Where's your father? Kevin McCallister: He's at work. Check-Out Woman: What about your brothers and sisters? Kevin McCallister: I'm an only child. Check-Out Woman: Whe...
[Kevin has just caused a scene in the kitchen and Buzz has him in a headlock] Kate McCallister: Look, stop, stop! What is the matter with you? Kevin McCallister: He started it! He ate my pizza on purpose! He knows I hate sausage and olives and onions...
Harry: [Marv brings a load of stolen goods from the Murphy household to the van and Harry sees him laughing] What's so funny? What are you laughing at? You did it again didn't you? You left the water running. What's wrong with you? Why do you do that...
Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired two guns whilst jumping through the air? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: Have you ever fired one gun whilst jumping through the air? Nicholas Angel: No. Danny Butterman: Ever been in a high-speed pursuit? Nic...
Inspector Frank Butterman: I suppose you're wondering why we call them the "Andies"? Nicholas Angel: They're both called Andrew? Inspector Frank Butterman: [delighted] They said you were good! Danny Butterman: Also because talking to them is an uphil...
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear. Chief Inspector: Yes I can, I'm the Chief Inspector. Nicholas Angel: Well however you spin this, there's one thing you haven't taken into account. And that's what the team are g...
Barry: How about the Jesus and Mary Chain? Barry's Customer: They always seemed... Barry: They always seemed what? They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. They picked up where your precious Echo left off, and you're sitting around...
Psychiatrist: Tell me, Harold, how many of these, eh, *suicides* have you performed? Harold: An accurate number would be difficult to gauge. Psychiatrist: Well, just give me a rough estimate. Harold: A rough estimate? I'd say [savoring the thought] H...
[first lines] Radio announcer: I don't know about you, it's just too hot today, isn't it? And it's going to get even worse. Temperatures up in the mid 30's Celsius, that's the mid 90's Fahrenheit, tomorrow maybe even hitting 100. So please, remember ...
