Glen: Say that reminds me, how'd you get that kid so darn fast? Me and Dot went in to adopt on account a' somethin' went wrong with my semen, and they said we had to wait five years for a healthy white baby. I said, "Healthy white baby? Five years? W...
H.I.: What are you talkin' about, Glen? Glen: What am I talkin' about? I'm talkin' about sex, boy, what the hell you talkin' about? I'm talkin' about l'amour! I'm talkin' that me and Dot are swingers, as in "to swing." I'm talkin' about wife swappin'...
Guy Woodhouse: [on Rosemary's decision to switch doctors] You know what Dr. Hill is? He's a Charlie Nobody, that's who he is! Rosemary Woodhouse: I'm tired of hearing about how great Dr. Sapirstein is! Guy Woodhouse: Well, I won't let you do it Ro. R...
Stanley Goodspeed: Hi, I'm an agent with the federal... FBI... Well, my, I'm Stanley Goodspeed. John Mason: But of course you are. Agent Paxton: Well, at least he got his name right. Stanley Goodspeed: Of course I am. John Mason: And you have an emer...
Agent Paxton: Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton. John Mason: In charge of what? Fucking me over for another three decades? Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a si...
[reading Hummel's file] Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Three tours in Vietnam, Panama, Grenada, Desert Storm; three Purple Hearts, two Silver Stars and the Congressional Medal of - Jesus. This man is a hero. General Al Kramer: Well, I think "legend"...
Agent Paxton: Congratulations, Dr. Goodspeed. You did it. Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Thank you, sir. Agent Paxton: You know, for a while there, I didn't think you were going to make it. Well done, son. So where's Mason? Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Vaporized. ...
Rose Mather: People ask all the time what I learned in the camps. But the camps weren't therapy. What do you think these places were? Universities? We didn't go there to learn. One becomes very clear about these things. What are you asking for? Forgi...
Rudy: We're gonna go inside, we're gonna go outside, inside and outside. We're gonna get 'em on the run boys and once we get 'em on the run we're gonna keep 'em on the run. And then we're gonna go go go go go go and we're not gonna stop til we get ac...
Joe Bradley: Would you like a cup of coffee? Princess Ann: What time is it? Joe Bradley: About one thirty. Princess Ann: One thirty! I must get dressed and go! Joe Bradley: *Why*. What's your hurry? There's lots of time. Princess Ann: No, there isn't...
Robin Hood: [after just swinging her to safety, he takes her hand] Marian, my love, will you marry me? Marian: Oh, darling, I thought you'd never ask me! [moves behind Robin Hood so he can continue to fight the Sheriff's men] Marian: [giggles] But yo...
Ernst Blofeld: Siamese fighting fish, fascinating creatures. Brave but of the whole stupid. Yes they're stupid. Except for the occasional one such as we have here who lets the other two fight. While he waits. Waits until the survivor is so exhausted ...
Charlie: He's not crazy, he's not retarded but he's here. Dr. Bruner: He's an autistic savant. People like him used to be called idiot savants. There's certain deficiencies, certain abilities that impairs him. Charlie: So he's retarded. Dr. Bruner: A...
Charlie: What's it going to be Ray? What's it going to be? Raymond: This is a very dangerous highway. Charlie: How am I going to get to LA? Raymond: Course driving your car on this interstate is very dangerous. Charlie: You want to get off the highwa...
Hidetora: What madness have I spoken? Wherein lies my senility? Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: I'll tell you. What kind of world do we live in? One barren of loyalty and feeling. Hidetora: I'm aware of that. Saburo Naotora Ichimonji: So you should be! You...
Gordon Cooper: [during the lung capacity test] Ha! 93 seconds. Read it and weep [notices Glenn and Carpenter are still exhaling] John Glenn: [Glenn has run out of breath well past Gordo's time] Congratulations, Scott. Darn good. Scott Carpenter: [sha...
Sheryl Yoast: Coach Boone, you did a good job up here. You ran a tough camp from what I can see. Coach Boone: Well I'm very happy to have the approval of a 5 year old. Sheryl Yoast: I'm 9 and a half, thank you very much. Coach Boone: Why don't you ge...
Blue Stanton: [begins to silently sing, gradually getting lowder] 'Cause baby there ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't... Big Ju: [slaps Blue's arm] Blue. Shut up. I don't want to see your smilin' and shuff in' and hear ...
Lt. Doyle: You didn't see the killing or the body. How do you know there was a murder? Jeff: Because everything this fellow's done has been suspicious: trips at night in the rain, knifes, saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there any...
Lt. Doyle: Lars Thorwald... is no more a murderer than I am. Jeff: [stunned] You mean that you can explain everything strange that has been going on over there, and is still going on? Lt. Doyle: No, and neither can you. That's a secret private world ...
Lloyd Dobler: [leaving the last of a series of messages on Diane's answering machine] "Maybe I didn't really know you. Maybe you were just a mirage. Maybe the world is full of food and sex and spectacle and we're all just hurling towards an apocalyps...
