Vinny Gambini: It's a procedure. Like rebuilding a carburetor has a procedure. You know, when you rebuild a carburetor, the first thing you do is you take the carburetor off the manifold? Supposing you skip the first step, and while you're replacing ...
Nancy: [to her father] The killer's still loose, ya know. Donald: You're saying somebody else killed Tina? Who? Nancy: I don't know who he is, but he's burned and he wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater, really dirty. And he uses these knive...
Alicia: [in bed, hung-over] I'm no stool-pigeon, Mr. Devlin. Devlin: My department authorized me to engage you to do some work for us. There's a job in Brazil... Alicia: Oh, go away. The whole thing bores me. Devlin: Some of the German gentry who are...
Chief Bromden: My pop was real big. He did like he pleased. That's why everybody worked on him. The last time I seen my father, he was blind and diseased from drinking. And every time he put the bottle to his mouth, he didn't suck out of it, it sucke...
Lawrence: We still goin' fishin' this weekend? Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it. Lawrence: Well, you can get out of that easily. Peter Gibbons: Yeah? How? Lawrence: Well, when a boss wants you to work o...
The Ancient Booer: Boo. Boo. Boo. Buttercup: Why do you do this? The Ancient Booer: Because you had love in your hands, and you gave it up. Buttercup: But they would have killed Westley if I hadn't done it. The Ancient Booer: Your true love lives. An...
[last lines] Theater Manager: Cecilia, what are you doing here? Cecilia: Meeting Gil Shepherd. Theater Manager: They all gone. Cecilia: Th - whaddaya, whaddaya mean? Theater Manager: They went back to Hollywood. Cecilia: Gil too? Theater Manager: Mr ...
Capitán Vidal: I'll make you a deal. If you can count to three without st-t-uttering you can go. Don't look at him look at me. Above me there is no one. Garces! Garcés: Yes Captain? Capitán Vidal: If I say this asshole can leave would anybody here...
Capt. Harris: Be advised. We've got zips in the wire down here. Phantom Pilot: Roger your last, Bravo Six. Can't run it any closer. We're hot to trot and packing snake and nape, but we're bingo on fuel. Capt. Harris: For the record, it's my call. Dum...
[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal] Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins... Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again! Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger...
Max Bialystock: Don't you see, darling Bloom, glorious Bloom? It's so simple. STEP ONE: We find the worst play ever written, a surefire flop. STEP TWO: I raise a million bucks. Lots of little old ladies out there. STEP THREE: You go back to work on t...
Jellon Lamb: Forgive me, sir, but I've been stuck here with no one but this sorry sack of Hibernian pig shit for conversation. Poor, poor Dan O'Reilly. Sit, sir. Drink with me. [Charlie cocks his gun and points it to Lamb] Charlie Burns: One more cra...
The Count: To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place. But all over...
Patton: Men, all this stuff you've heard about America not wanting to fight, wanting to stay out of the war, is a lot of horse dung. Americans traditionally love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle. When you were kids, you all admir...
Mary Elizabeth: Charlie, Charlie, what do you think about high school? Charlie: High school? Bullshit. The cafeteria is called the Nutrition Center; people wear their letter jackets even when it's 98 degrees out. And why do they give out letter jacke...
Roosevelt: The entire outer skin will be like this. Tyler: It's titanium, laminated with kevlar. Roosevelt: Go ahead. Shake his hand. [the robotic arm extends to shake Morton's hand] Bob Morton: Come here often? How you doin'? Bob Morton: [cringes as...
Major Tom Baxter: We're asking them. We're asking them for a new deadline. General Hummel: Put the phone down. Major Tom Baxter: The men are falling apart! General Hummel: The men are Marines! Major Tom Baxter: Are they? [Hummel is silent] Major Tom ...
FBI Director Womack: Great job, Goodspeed. Agent Paxton: Why don't you throw in a trip to Tahiti while you're at it? FBI Agent: Okay, I'll deliver this to the Attorney General... FBI Director Womack: [Interrupts and takes the contract from Hunt] Ah, ...
Harry Goldfarb: [on the phone] Marion... I've been thinking about you so much... are you okay? Marion: When are you coming home? Harry Goldfarb: Soon. Marion: When? Harry Goldfarb: Soon... you holding out alright? Marion: Harry... can you come today?...
Mr. Blonde: Listen kid, I'm not gonna bullshit you, all right? I don't give a good fuck what you know, or don't know, but I'm gonna torture you anyway, regardless. Not to get information. It's amusing, to me, to torture a cop. You can say anything yo...
Mr. Pink: We still gotta get outta here. Mr. Blonde: We're gonna sit here and wait. Mr. White: For what, the cops? Mr. Blonde: Nice Guy Eddie. Mr. Pink: Nice Guy Eddie? What makes you think he isn't on a plane half way to Costa Rica? Mr. Blonde: 'Cau...
