I had a dream about you. You sold Tuesdays to factory workers on Monday mornings. You had a good thing going, until I showed up with a vender cart stocked full of Wednesdays.
I had a dream about you. You were a her named Penny, but you were even more worthless than a cent. And I was a businessman who owned coin-operated used bubblegum dispensers.
I had a dream about you. When our talks ended, we left off with leftovers. I stuffed our conversation in Tupperware, but you just left it out to rot and decompose.
I had a dream about you. You were naked and frightened. We were in the belly of the beast, and I was dressed like a football mascot, so that’s why we were eaten.
I had a dream about you. We laughed, and laughed, and laughed, like little kids, only we weren’t kids, we were just little. I think the technical term is midgets.
I had a dream about you. The setting was upsetting. We were in hell where I was a prisoner and you were a guard. You reported directly to Satan, who reported directly to Congress.
I had a dream about you. You were the voice of Michael Phelps, and I was an Olympic swimming pool. You speak sexier when your words are wearing Speedos.
I had a dream about you. You suggested to split the profits, so I did. I threw one half in the furnace to power the steam engine, and the other half in the air to distract our pursuers.
I had a dream about you. You were 1882, and I was 1982. You said you were older, and I replied that I was taller. Still, for being a midget, you were pretty good at basketball.
I had a dream last night I was on tinder and all the picks were me in make up I was like she's hot I'd do her. I just walked into my therapist office.
My dream was to go to Nashville. I had my sights set on my dream. I used to have an '89 Toyota Ford truck. On the front of the truck, I had this license plate with cowboy boots and a guitar that I had airbrushed at Wal-Mart. It said 'Chasin' A Dream....
I had a dream about you. You owned a taco stand, and I looked like a pile of meat, cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and hot sauce. I resented you, and you wanted to enslave me.
I had a dream about you. I was a robot that looked like Robert the Bruce, and you were a Bruce that looked like a Robert. You also danced like a robot, and I danced like a metal mannequin, so we bonded.
I had a dream about you. You were a meow in a vacuum, and I was a bark on carpet. I told your parents I’d have you home by ten, but that was a lie, because you were homeless.
I had a dream about you. You smiled at me, and I blushed like a red rose. Then you started sniffing my cheeks and I realized you were a bee and I’d been deceived.
I had a dream about you. The flowers were blooming, but our love was wilting. I tried to water our relationship, but no matter what I did, you were insistent on leaving me for a gardener.
I had a dream about you. I watched you grow up, and though I enjoyed the whole process, it did get pretty uncomfortable sitting in the tree holding those binoculars all those years.
I had a dream about you. You were completely naked, except for full body armor, and I was lying on a bed trying to roll a magnum condom on a medieval sword. I wanted a baby, but you killed that idea.
I had a dream about you. You were writing a book on how to write a book, and I was reading a book on how to read a book. You thought we were meant to be together, and I thought we were meant to be in a library.
I had a dream about you. You were a shallow person, and I was a public swimming pool with no deep end. In my mind you thirsted for me, but you probably just thought I was a giant toilet that didn’t flush.
I had a dream about you. Due to the underwater nature of our relationship, I kept referring to you as Mrs. Fishface. You probably thought I was being racist, because you were in fact a dolphin.
