Skinner: I want you to work up something for my latest frozen food concept: Gusteau's Corn Puppies. They're like corn dogs, only smaller. Bite size. Francois: What are corn dogs? Skinner: Cheap sausages dipped in batter and deep fried. You know, Amer...
Bus Driver: All right! Rest stop, 45 minutes! C'mon, folks, we got to move! We leave at 2:45 on the dot! Can't be late! [to his white passengers] Bus Driver: Hot meals and bathrooms inside! [to his "colored" passengers] Bus Driver: All right, uh, the...
David Mills: I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in...
[in Japanese] Haku: Kamaji. Kamajii: [wakes up] Oh, Haku, you're awake. Haku: Where's Sen? What happened? Please, tell me. Kamajii: Don't you remember anything? Haku: Just little pieces. Chihiro kept calling my name in the darkness. I followed her vo...
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years. Jim Court: That's right. IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise? Jim Court: Taking care of ...
[a tremor knocks Leia into Solo's arms] Princess Leia: Let go. Han Solo: Shh. Princess Leia: Let go, please. Han Solo: Don't get excited. Princess Leia: Captain, being held by you isn't quite enough to get me excited. Han Solo: Sorry sweetheart. I ha...
[R2 is trying to open the door as Storm Troopers shoot at them; he beeps] C-3PO: No! We're not interested in the hyperdrive on the Millenium Falcon, it's fixed! [R2 beeps again] C-3PO: Just open the door, you stupid lug! [he opens the door] C-3PO: I ...
Klump: And, if my current state of much-justified petulance permits me to press the point, you are likeways demonstratably bereft of a working understanding of the perimeters of our beforementioned mission at hand. Klump: Relevant to said mission is ...
[after being smacked in the jaw by Jackie Boy] Bozo No. 1: [about Jackie Boy] He is generous. But that temper of his... you shouldn't have picked on him like you did. My temper, you don't have to worry about. Shellie: [grabs a knife and points it at ...
Cmdr. Deanna Troi: [very drunk] Look. He wouldn't even talk to me unless I had a drink with him. And then, it took three shots of something called "tequila" just to find out that HE was the one we're looking for! And I've spent the last twenty minute...
[looking through Shaun's LPs for suitable records to throw at two approaching zombies] Ed: 'Purple Rain'? Shaun: No. Ed: 'Sign o' the Times'? Shaun: Definitely not. Ed: The 'Batman' soundtrack? Shaun: Throw it. Ed: 'Dire Straits'? Shaun: Throw it. Ed...
Ed: Any zombies out there? Shaun: Don't say that! Ed: What? Shaun: That! Ed: What? Shaun: The zed-word. Don't say it! Ed: Why not? Shaun: Because it's ridiculous! Ed: All right... are there any out there, though? [looking out of the letter-box, he se...
[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers] Shaun: Got you these. [Liz reads the label] Liz: "To a wonderful mum"? Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wan...
Sugar: [pouring bourbon into paper cup] Turn the lights on. Daphne: No lights, we don't want anyone to know we're having a party. Sugar: But I might spill some. Daphne: So spill it! Spills, thrills, laughs, and games. This may even turn out to be a s...
[Jerry sees Joe impersonating a wealthy yachtsman to flirt with Sugar] Sugar: [to Joe] This is my friend Daphne, she's a Vassar girl. Daphne: I'm a what? Sugar: Or was it Bryn Mawr? Junior: [firmly to Jerry] I heard a very sad story about a girl that...
Sugar: Oh Josephine! The most wonderful thing happened! Joe: What? Sugar: Guess. Joe: They repealed prohibition? Jerry: Oh come now, you can do better than that. Sugar: I met one of them. Joe: One of whom? Sugar: Shell Oil Junior. He's got millions, ...
Lord Farquaad: Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king. Lord Farquaad: Ah, Thelonius? [Thelonius the Executioner smashes a small looking glass] Lord Farquaad: ...
[a chambermaid enters Irene Adler's room and screams when she sees Holmes, handcuffed naked to the bed with a pillow covering his groin] Sherlock Holmes: Madam, I need you to remain calm. And trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow, lies th...
[Mrs. Hudson starts to clear space for the tea tray] Sherlock Holmes: Don't touch. Everything is in its proper place... as per usual, Nanny. [on her way out, Mrs. Hudson notices the dog laying on the floor] Mrs. Hudson: Oh, he's killed the dog. Again...
Lord Blackwood: Sherlock Holmes... and his loyal dog. Tell me, Doctor, as a medical man, have you enjoyed my work? Dr. John Watson: Let me show you how much I've enjoyed it... [He rushes at Blackwood, Holmes holds him back] Sherlock Holmes: Watson, d...
Lando Calrissian: Yes, I said *closer*! Move as close as you can, and engage those Star Destroyers at point blank range! Admiral Ackbar: At that close range we won't last long against those Star Destroyers! Lando Calrissian: We'll last longer than we...
