Bobby Jay Bliss: The way I heard it, D.C. police found you naked, laying in Lincoln's crotch, covered in nicotine patches with a sign across your chest that said... Polly Bailey: He doesn't need to hear the details. Bobby Jay Bliss: It was some prett...
[last lines] Nick Naylor: Gentlemen, practise these words in front of the mirror: Although we are constantly exploring the subject, currently there is no direct evidence that links cellphone usage to brain cancer. Nick Naylor: Michael Jordan plays ba...
Derek Smalls: We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be...
Dorothy Michaels: Oh I know what y'all really want is some gross, caricature of a woman to prove some idiotic point that power makes a woman masculine, or masculine women are ugly. Well shame on you for letting a man do that, or any man that does tha...
[after the initial shootout that kills Gloansy and Dez] Police Captain: I don't know if we're dealing with some kind of a fucking genius here, but security... Security is saying they got hit by cops. Dino Ciampa: Cops? Police Captain: Yeah. Two cops,...
Alpha: [In squeaky voice] Master, dinner is ready. Charles Muntz: Oh, yes, broken collar? It's that loose wire again. [fixes the collar] Charles Muntz: There you go, big fella. Alpha: [In deep, intimidating voice] Thank you, Naster. Russell: [Nervous...
V: [V interrupts the three policemen about to rape Evey, whips out a dagger, and quoting the sergeant from Macbeth Act I Scene 2] "The multiplying villainies of nature do swarm upon him [skips 4 lines from the original Shakespeare] V: disdaining fort...
Evey Hammond: [V has taken her to the shrine dedicated to Valerie Page] She was real! She's beautiful. Did you know her? V: No. She wrote the letter just before she died, and I delieverd the letter to you as it had been delivered to me. Evey Hammond:...
Gordon Deitrich: [about his TV show] We threw out the censor-approved script and shot a new one that I wrote this morning. Evey Hammond: [dumbfounded] Oh, my God... [Evey gulps her champagne as the TV camera pans over the clapping audience, revealing...
Lt. Morris Schaffer: [referring to what Smith called him earlier to maintain his cover] "Second rate punk," huh? Major John Smith: All I could think of on the spur of the moment. Lt. Morris Schaffer: Thanks, that makes it even worse. Major John Smith...
Mrs. Gloop: You boiled him up, I know it. Willy Wonka: Nil desperandum, my dear lady. Across the desert lies the promised land. [Mrs. Gloop is led away to the fudge room] Willy Wonka: Goodbye, Mrs. Gloop. Adieu. Aufwiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell.
Mr. Salt: Quite a nice little canoe you got there, Wonka. Willy Wonka: All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. All aboard, everybody. Mr. Salt: Ladies first, and that means Veruca. Grandpa Joe: [to Charlie] If she's a lady, I'm a Vermicio...
Mr. Salt: Wonka, how much do you want for the golden goose? Willy Wonka: They're not for sale. Mr. Salt: Name your price. Willy Wonka: She can't have one. Veruca Salt: Who says I can't? Mr. Salt: The man with the funny hat.
Willy Wonka: [telling the group about Everlasting Gobstoppers] You can suck them and suck them and suck them and they'll never get any smaller. Never! [pauses, then speaks softly, almost to himself] Willy Wonka: At least I don't think they do. A few ...
Terence Fletcher: So, imagine if Jones had just said, "Well, that's okay, Charlie. That was all right. Good job." So Charlie thinks to himself, "Well, shit, I did do a pretty good job." End of story. No Bird. That to me is an absolute tragedy. But th...
Marwood: [after trying the Camberwell Carrot] Give me a downer, Danny. My brain's capsizing, I've gotta unfuck my brain! Danny: Change down, man. Find your neutral space. You got a rush. It'll pass. Be seated. Marwood: Aren't you getting absurdly hig...
Waylon Jennings: I'm a long way from home/And so all alone/ Homesick like I never thought I'd be/ I'm a long way from home/Everything is wrong/Someone please watch... Johnny Cash: [while Waylon is still singing] June call? Waylon Jennings: Johnny Ca...
Christine Vole: It isn't even my letter paper! I write my letters on small, blue paper with my initials on it? Sir Wilfrid: Like these? [pulling out a sheaf of letters on blue paper] Christine Vole: Damn you! Damn you! Let me go! Let me get out of he...
Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: What can I get for you, good-lookin'? Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Half pound of egg salad. Randy 'The Ram' Robinson: HALF POUND OF EGG SALAD, COMIN' UP! Touchdown Man at Deli Counter: Is it fresh? Randy 'The Ram' Robinson...
Sergeant Calhoun: All right, listen up, 'cause I'm only gonna say this once! "Fear" is a four-letter word, ladies! You wanna go pee-pee in your big-boy slacks, keep it to yourself! It's "make your mamas proud" time! Wreck-It Ralph: I love my mamma!
D.J.: All right now, for all you boppers out there in the big city, all you street people with an ear for the action, I've been asked to relay a request from the Grammercy Riffs. It's a special for the Warriors, that real live bunch from Coney, and I...
