Lt. Santino: Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me? Eddie Valiant: So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me. Lt. Santino: I've already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. Eddie Valiant: Huh? Lt. Santi...
Betty Boop: Cigars? Cigarettes?... Eddie Valiant! Eddie Valiant: [turns around] Betty! Betty Boop: Long time, no see! Eddie Valiant: What are you doing here? Betty Boop: Work's been kinda slow since cartoons went to color. But I still got it, Eddie! ...
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours. Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did. Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel. Eddie Val...
Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on you credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think yo...
Harry: [after he has run into his ex-wife] She looked weird didn't she? She looked really weird. Sally: I don't know, I've never seen her before. Harry: Trust me, she looked weird. Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must retaining water. Sally: Harry...
Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full...
Janet Black: Doctor Manhattan as you know the Doomsday Clock is a symbolic clock face analogizing humankind's proximity to extinction, midnight representing the threat of nuclear war. As of now it stands at four minutes to midnight. Would you agree t...
Nick: [to Honey] We'll go in a little while. George: Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being...
[last lines] Inga: You know, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. In the transference, the monster got part of your wonderful brain. But what did you ever get from him? Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: [growls suggestively] Inga: [gasping] Oh m...
Robert Graysmith: Dave, he made a mistake! The birthday was the one time that he was weak, the one time he gave something away! Dave Toschi: Robert... Robert Graysmith: It's Arthur Leigh Allen! Dave Toschi: Where did you get that name? Robert Graysmi...
Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece! It's a piece. Wichita: It's - I'm sorry. No, it's just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen. Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen. Wichita: Nuh-uh. Tallahassee: Really? Bill Murray: Ye...
Aron Ralston: [upon first meeting] I can take you that way if you like... Kristi, Megan: [apprehensive silence] Aron Ralston: Oh, sorry. The, uh - Friday the 13th there. [removes scarf from his face] Kristi, Megan: [nervous laughs] Aron Ralston: [t...
Juror #8: Let me ask you this: Do you really think the boy'd shout out a thing like that so the whole neighborhood could hear him? I don't think so - he's much to bright for that. Juror #10: Bright? He's a common ignorant slob. He don't even speak go...
Juror #3: That business before when that tall guy, what's-his-name, was trying to bait me? That doesn't prove anything. I'm a pretty excitable person. I mean, where does he come off calling me a public avenger, sadist and everything? Anyone in his ri...
Patroller: [in a vain attempt to escape, Solomon runs into some patrollers who are fixing to hang a trio of slaves] Boy, where are you going? Solomon Northup: To the store, Sir, to Bartholomew's. I was sent there by Mistress Epps. Patroller: [the pat...
King Leonidas: [on being told the Persians are coming to parley] Captain, I leave you in charge. Captain: But, sire... King Leonidas: Relax, old friend. If they assassinate me, all of Sparta goes to war. Pray they're that stupid. Pray we're that luck...
Marilyn Lovell: [Barbara has locked herself in her room] Barbara! [Knocks on the door] Marilyn Lovell: Barbara, we're going to hear your father's broadcast! Barbara Lovell: No! I'm never coming out! I hate Paul! None of us are ever going to play anot...
Tick: Well, listen to this one. After we did the ABBA show, Kevin had one of those liposuction penis enlargements. Felicia: He didn't? Tick: Yep. Do you know what they do? They siphon all the fat out of your love handles, and actually inject it into ...
Addison DeWitt: And what's your name? Phoebe: Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: Phoebe? Phoebe: I call myself Phoebe. Addison DeWitt: And why not? Tell me, Phoebe, do you want someday to have an award like that of your own? Phoebe: More than anything else in t...
Dick Liddil: Did you cook this, ma'am? Sarah Hite: I've got a nigga woman. Major George Hite: [short of hearing] How's that? Sarah Hite: [louder and slower] Dick asked if I cooked this! Major George Hite: Did ya? Sarah Hite: ...No! Wood Hite: [whispe...
Don Fernando de Guzman: All the land to our left and all the land to our right now belongs to us. I solemnly and formally take possession of all this land. Our country is already six times larger than Spain, and every day we drift makes it bigger. Do...
