Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay? Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon. Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Fro...
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. Woody: Oh. Well, that's good. Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we? Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! Buzz: [he attacks Woody] Woody: O...
Jack: Alright come here, this is my favourite part. That one right there... [points in pool of fish] Jack: It's 7000 dollars. Nick Naylor: 7000 for a fish? Jack: Yep, kinda makes you wanna stop eating sushi, but I guess you kinda have to. Jack: See t...
Derek Smalls: [from DVD commentary, about Marty DiBergi] He doesn't look Italian, does he? Nigel Tufnel: I think his real last name is DiBergarmo. David St. Hubbins: No! Derek Smalls: No, his real last name is DiBergowitz. Nigel Tufnel: Yeah! DiBergo...
Lewis Bodine: We never found anything on Jack... there's no record of him at all. Old Rose: No, there wouldn't be, would there? And I've never spoken of him until now... Not to anyone... Not even your grandfather... A woman's heart is a deep ocean of...
The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don't seem real... how he ain't gonna never breathe again, ever... how he's dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger. Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a...
Bowtie Driver: Me and the bookkeeper are walking out of here, getting into a car, and driving away. Or else he dies! He dies! And you ain't got nothing! You got five seconds to make up your minds! Ness: You got him? George Stone: Yeah, I got him. Bow...
[John and June on stage before an audience, away from mic] June Carter: John, I'm not gonna sing that song, it's inappropriate. [John signals to start music] June Carter: I recorded it with my ex-husband, [music starts] June Carter: and I'm not gonna...
Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, wher...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
[last lines] Porky Pig: All right. M-m-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's nothing left to see here. That's all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that. Porky Pig: [turns to audience; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrac...
Lt. Santino: Gee whiz, Eddie, if you really needed money so bad, then why didn't you come to me? Eddie Valiant: So I took a couple of dirty pictures, kill me. Lt. Santino: I've already got a stiff on my hands, thank you. Eddie Valiant: Huh? Lt. Santi...
Jessica Rabbit: Well, we're not going anywhere in my car. Let's take yours. Eddie Valiant: I have a feeling someone already did. Jessica Rabbit: From the looks of it I'd say it was Roger. My honey bunny was never very good behind the wheel. Eddie Val...
Jordan Belfort: So you listen to me and you listen well. Are you behind on you credit card bills? Good, pick up the phone and start dialing! Is your landlord ready to evict you? Good! Pick up the phone and start dialing! Does your girlfriend think yo...
Harry: [after he has run into his ex-wife] She looked weird didn't she? She looked really weird. Sally: I don't know, I've never seen her before. Harry: Trust me, she looked weird. Her legs looked heavy. Really, she must retaining water. Sally: Harry...
Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full...
Janet Black: Doctor Manhattan as you know the Doomsday Clock is a symbolic clock face analogizing humankind's proximity to extinction, midnight representing the threat of nuclear war. As of now it stands at four minutes to midnight. Would you agree t...
Nick: [to Honey] We'll go in a little while. George: Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being...
Robert Graysmith: Dave, he made a mistake! The birthday was the one time that he was weak, the one time he gave something away! Dave Toschi: Robert... Robert Graysmith: It's Arthur Leigh Allen! Dave Toschi: Where did you get that name? Robert Graysmi...
Bill Murray: You are staring at me. It's a hairpiece! It's a piece. Wichita: It's - I'm sorry. No, it's just that you look remarkably like Eddie Van Halen. Bill Murray: I just saw Eddie Van Halen. Wichita: Nuh-uh. Tallahassee: Really? Bill Murray: Ye...
Aron Ralston: [upon first meeting] I can take you that way if you like... Kristi, Megan: [apprehensive silence] Aron Ralston: Oh, sorry. The, uh - Friday the 13th there. [removes scarf from his face] Kristi, Megan: [nervous laughs] Aron Ralston: [t...
