Sean Devine: So Jimmy, when was the last time you saw Dave? Jimmy Markum: The last time I saw Dave... Sean Devine: Yeah, Dave Boyle. Jimmy Markum: Dave Boyle... Sean Devine: Yeah Jimmy, Dave Boyle. Jimmy Markum: That was twenty-five years ago, going ...
Jack Walsh: Can I have my sunglasses please? Alonzo Mosely: Here's your sunglasses. [Mosely spitefully tosses them up and drives off. Jack tries to catch them but they fall on the road and end up chipped] Jack Walsh: [Sarcastically] Nice. [Jack pulls...
Kris Kringle: You see, Mrs. Walker, this is quite an opportunity for me. For the past 50 years or so I've been getting more and more worried about Christmas. Seems we're all so busy trying to beat the other fellow in making things go faster and look ...
Virginia McCain: [talking to Jim Taylor on the phone about Buster] No, he's not here. I don't know where he is, he never tells me anything any more. Probably out having an affair somewhere. [Buster walks in] Virginia McCain: Oh here he is. [hands Bus...
Hotlips O'Houlihan: [Raving about the Swampmen's latest stunt] If you don't turn them over to the MPs this minute, I - -I'm going to resign my comission! Colonel Blake: [In bed with a nurse] Goddamnit, Hot Lips, resign your goddamn comission! Hotlips...
Colonel Blake: [blows whistle] Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team. It is okay to call you that? Spearchucker: Call me whatever you want to. Colonel...
Ed Crane: I went to see a woman who was supposed to have powers of communicating with those who had "passed across" as she called it. She said that people who had passed across were picky about who they communicated with, not like most people you run...
Jefferson Smith: Boy, you should have been there! Clarissa Saunders: I know, it was a wonderful party, and your suit went over big, and she looked beautiful, and when you left she said, "Thank you, Mr. Smith," but it was the way she said it, you near...
Senate Minority Leader, Barnes: [Watches as Smith reads a note passed to him from the gallery] Does the gentleman wish to yield? Jefferson Smith: Yield? Oh, no. I feel fine! The Constitution of the United States! [Barnes throws both hands high in the...
Lock: [singing] I say that we take a cannon, aim it at his door, and then, knock three times, and when he answers, Sandy Claws will be no more! Shock: [singing] You're so stupid! Think now! If we blow him up to smithereens, we may lose some pieces! L...
Boot Salesman: [Moss walks in wearing his hospital robe] How those Larry's holdin' up? Llewelyn Moss: Uh, oh, good. Good! I need everything else. Boot Salesman: OK. Llewelyn Moss: Lotta people come in here without any clothes on? Boot Salesman: No si...
Ed: [after Ludwig has been shot with a cuff link dart, fallen off a building, run over by a bus, flattened by a steam roller, and trampled by a marching band] Oh, Frank! It's horrible. That's so horrible! Frank: [comforts Ed] I know, Ed. Ed: My fathe...
Vincent Ludwig: Tell me, Mr. Papshmir, in all the world, who is the most effective assassin? Papshmir: Well, I would think ANYONE who manages to conceal his identity as an assassin. Vincent Ludwig: Yes, but there is even a more ideal assassin - one w...
Nancy: [she notices Glen standing outside her window with mud-caked soles] Sometimes I wish you didn't live right across the street. Glen Lantz: [holds one of his muddy feet up to her] Will you shut up and let me in? Did you ever stand on a rose trel...
Sheba Hart: This is going to sound sick, but something in me felt... entitled. You know, I've been good all my adult life. I've been a decent wife, a dutiful mother coping with Ben. This voice inside me kept saying "why shouldn't you be bad, why shou...
Rock Biter: We can't wait for a snail. Can I carry you? Teeny Weeny: Don't worry, it's a racing snail! Rock Biter: Oh but, but, we can't even wait for a racing snail. Teeny Weeny: Tally ho! Rock Biter: Hey, it really is a racing snail! Night Hob: Nob...
Max Schumacher: We could make a series of it. "Suicide of the Week." Aw, hell, why limit ourselves? "Execution of the Week." Howard Beale: "Terrorist of the Week." Max Schumacher: I love it. Suicides, assassinations, mad bombers, Mafia hitmen, automo...
Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint. Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash? Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need? Cou...
Clark: I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun. Ellen Griswold: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world...
Young Max: From here on, we establish the shared funds of the gang. They belong to all of us together, and to none of us alone. And we solemnly swear to put in 50 per cent of everything we make. Agreed? Young Noodles, Young Cockeye, Young Patsy, D...
Carol: [looking at Noodles] Why don't we make it a threesome, huh? Max: Can't you see he's got other plans for tonight? Carol: Well, bring her along! We'll make it a foursome! Noodles: I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, I'm afraid if I give you a goo...
