Toby: Did you know that the Lord of the Rings is gay? Bree Osbourne: I beg your pardon. Toby: There's this big, black tower, right? And it points right at this huge burning vagina thing, and it's like the symbol of ultimate evil. And then Sam and Fro...
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. Woody: Oh. Well, that's good. Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we? Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! Buzz: [he attacks Woody] Woody: O...
Jack: Alright come here, this is my favourite part. That one right there... [points in pool of fish] Jack: It's 7000 dollars. Nick Naylor: 7000 for a fish? Jack: Yep, kinda makes you wanna stop eating sushi, but I guess you kinda have to. Jack: See t...
Marty DiBergi: David St. Hubbins... I must admit I've never heard anybody with that name. David St. Hubbins: It's an unusual name, well, he was an unusual saint, he's not a very well known saint. Marty DiBergi: Oh, there actually is, uh... there was ...
Artie Fufkin: [after nobody turns up, at an album-signing promotion] You know what I want you to do? Will you do something for me? David St. Hubbins: What? Artie Fufkin: Do me a favor. Just kick my ass, okay? Kick this ass for a man, that's all. Kick...
Derek Smalls: [from DVD commentary, about Marty DiBergi] He doesn't look Italian, does he? Nigel Tufnel: I think his real last name is DiBergarmo. David St. Hubbins: No! Derek Smalls: No, his real last name is DiBergowitz. Nigel Tufnel: Yeah! DiBergo...
Lewis Bodine: We never found anything on Jack... there's no record of him at all. Old Rose: No, there wouldn't be, would there? And I've never spoken of him until now... Not to anyone... Not even your grandfather... A woman's heart is a deep ocean of...
FBI S.A. Adam Frawley: [to his team] Where are they? What are they doing right now? They got the money, now they have to clean it. Casino's, tracks, maybe they make a big drug buy, flip it across town. They wanna go celebrate, right? V.P.D, D.E.A. I ...
The Schofield Kid: [after killing a man for the first time] It don't seem real... how he ain't gonna never breathe again, ever... how he's dead. And the other one too. All on account of pulling a trigger. Will Munny: It's a hell of a thing, killing a...
[Little Bill viciously kicks English Bob] Little Bill Daggett: I guess you think I'm kicking you, Bob. But it ain't so. What I'm doing is talking, you hear? I'm talking to all those villains down there in Kansas. I'm talking to all those villains in ...
Bowtie Driver: Me and the bookkeeper are walking out of here, getting into a car, and driving away. Or else he dies! He dies! And you ain't got nothing! You got five seconds to make up your minds! Ness: You got him? George Stone: Yeah, I got him. Bow...
Malone: You're gonna talk, pal. You're gonna beg to talk. Because somebody's going to talk! [walks out of the shack, and holds the dead body of a gangster Ness shot] Malone: Hey you, on your feet! We need you to translate this book! And you are going...
Dave Kujan: First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever's sleeping is your man. You see, if you're guilty, ...
Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is? Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum. Willy Wonka: [happily, but sarcastically] Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world. Violet Beauregarde: What's so fab about it? Willy Wo...
Stanley Kael, Second Newscaster: Four down, one to go, and somewhere out there a lucky person is moving closer and closer to the most sought after prize in history. Though we cannot help but envy whoever he is, and we may feel bitter, but we must rem...
Danny: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. It's horrible really but they like that, the...
Marwood: Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood si...
[John and June on stage before an audience, away from mic] June Carter: John, I'm not gonna sing that song, it's inappropriate. [John signals to start music] June Carter: I recorded it with my ex-husband, [music starts] June Carter: and I'm not gonna...
Johnny Cash: I'm really glad ya'll could be here today, especially you dad, glad you came. Not everybody's here. Jack's not here is he, huh? Where you been? That's what you said to me, remember? I was twelve years old and he got Jack's bloody clothes...
Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, wher...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
