Joe: So, you guys like to tell jokes, huh? Gigglin' and laughin' like a bunch of young broads sittin' in a schoolyard. Well, let me tell a joke. Five guys, sittin' in a bullpen, in San Quentin. All wondering how the fuck they got there. What should w...
Ham Porter: *play ball!* Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing] Ham Porter: Haha, that's one. [cuts to new pitch] Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog...
Q: Where and when do you do your writing? A: Any small room with no natural light will do. As for when, I have no particular schedules... afternoons are best, but I'm too lethargic for any real regime. When I'm in the flow of something I can do a reg...
You raise one eyebrow and regard me with another intense stare. “Start by stripping please Jenna.” I hear what you say and yet on some level I can’t quite process it. “Strip?” I ask, as though I don’t understand your demand. “Yes, strip...
The day has been so full of fret and care, and our hearts have been so full of evil and of bitter thoughts, and the world has seemed so hard and wrong to us. Then Night, like some great loving mother, gently lays her hand upon our fevered head, and t...
Big Evil: That's when we fucking graduate. We fucking get the upgrade right now. Not fucking gonna be little fucking paisas no fucking more. Right? That's what we're gonna do. Demon: I'm with you. Big Evil: They want to come into our fucking hood and...
[Lester eavesdrops on Jane and Angela through Jane's bedroom door] Jane Burnham: Sorry about my dad. Angela Hayes: Don't be. I think it's funny. Jane Burnham: Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... t...
[Marty has accepted Tannen's challenge to duel] Seamus McFly: You had him, Mr. Eastwood! You could have just walked away and nobody would of thought the less of you for it. All it would have been was words... hot air from a buffoon. Instead, you let ...
Once Seung Sahn Soen-sa and a student of his attended a talk at a Zen center in California. The Dharma teacher spoke about Bodhidharma. After the talk, someone asked him "What's the difference between Bodhidharma's sitting in Sorim for nine years and...
What better weapon than the human brain? The human brain was Mrs Twartski's and Wiezenslowski's domain. The children who were used were the castaways of the United States government, like dogs abandoned and a vet's office. Mrs. Twartski read the lett...
Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out...
Lance rolled his eyes. “I’m already sorrier than you could possibly imagine. Now you promise me you won’t interfere, or mention it to anyone, or poke your nose in, or follow Mr. Traynor along the street when he comes into town,...” Lily snort...
She opened her eyes and looked into his rather intensely. "What?" Alex asked. "This cannot be." "What can't be?" Alex asked her, more bafflement in his voice this time. "I have been reading people all my life. I can even read cats and dogs. I've been...
The Paradoxical Commandments People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemi...
The room where they were dancing was very dark.... It was queer to be in his arms.... She had known better dancers.... He had looked ill.... Perhaps he was.... Oh, poor Valentine-Elisabeth.... What a funny position!.... The good gramophone played.......
"Of cats' first disobedience, and the height Of that forbidden tree whose doom'd ascent Brought man into the world to help us down And made us subject to his moods and whims, For though we may have knock'd an apple loose As we were carried safely to ...
Maybe this is kind of cliche, but animals, well, dogs, are what I do for a living. One reason I like spending time with them so much is they seem to think people are really good. They live with us, and obey our rules, most of which make no sense to t...
Every day you feel like you can't control the forces affecting your fate-your job,the government,your addiction,your depression,your money. So you stage micro-revolts. You customise your ringtone,you paint your room,you collect stamps. You choose. Ch...
I got tired, I told him. Not worn out, but worn through. Like one of those wives who wakes up one morning and says I can't bake any more bread. You never bake bread, he wrote, and we were still joking. Then it's like I woke up and baked bread, I said...
Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin. It does this whenever it is told. Catherine Martin: Mister... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they pay it. Jame "Buffalo Bill" Gumb: It rubs the lotion on its skin ...
Gangster 'Johnny': Who is it? Pizza Boy: It's Little Nero's, sir. I have your pizza. Gangster 'Johnny': Leave it on the doorstep and get the hell outta here. Pizza Boy: Okay. [leaves the pizza on the doormat] Pizza Boy: But what about the money? Gang...
