I got a pit bull from a shelter, so my whole life is centered on this dog, and I've been writing a lot of dog jokes. I should probably give up now, because I'm writing jokes about my dog.
No dog is too much for me to handle. I rehabilitate dogs, I train people. I am the dog whisperer.
Jonathan: I'm distressed by dogs. Alex: [in Russian to Grandfather] He is afraid of dogs. Grandfather: [in Russian to Alex] Bullshit. No one is afraid of dogs.
Ghost Dog: Everything around us seems to be changing, huh, Louie? Louie: You can say that again.
Tipsy, they tumbled early into bed - to get as much sleep as they could. So they would feel less hunger. The summer catch had been poor; there wasn't much food. They ate with care and looked sideways at the old: the old were gluttons, everybody knew ...
Right, I totally forgot. I can’t wait to taste the flummery.” “I’m not sure if I want to know what that is,” Manning said. “It’s a sort of jelly, but made into a mold that is shaped like a castle or a tower or just a”—Debbie Mae wig...
None of us mentioned An Evening of Long Goodbyes, whose race had been so catastrophic that, by the end, neither Frank nor I could summon the will to gloat. He had begun badly, getting his head stuck in the gate and having to be extricated by the stew...
Del: [talking to Neal on the plane] I always order a special meal. On this airline, I go with the seafood salad. On American, I'll have their kosher plate: a little slice of salami, some roast beef, some turkey, dark rye bread, very nice. Now, if I'm...
Sonny Valerio: What the fuck is his name? Louie: Ghost Dog. Sonny Valerio: What? Louie: Ghost Dog. Sonny Valerio: Ghost Dog? Joe Rags: He said Ghost Dog. Louie: Yeah. He calls himself Ghost Dog. I don't know, a lot of these Black guys today, these ga...
My dogs have been the reason I have woken up every single day with a smile on my face. I am among the ranks of millions of people who appreciate the souls of dogs and know they are a gift of pure love and an example of all that is good.
It just goes to show, never say never, or the next thing you know, you’ll be doing what you said you never would, owning a dog you swore you didn’t want and walking (or carrying) a tiny, totally enchanting little dog on a rhinestone-studded pink ...
People seem able to love their dogs with an unabashed acceptance that they rarely demonstrate with family or friends. The dogs do not disappoint them, or if they do, the owners manage to forget about it quickly. I want to learn to love people like th...
When I read the 'Dick and Jane' stories, I thought they were afraid they might forget each other's names because they always said each other's names - a lot. So if Jane didn't see the dog, Dick would say, 'Look Jane, look. There is the dog next to Sa...
Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: Eight o'clock Monday, runt. If you ain't here, I'll hunt you and shoot you down like a duck. Buford's Gang Member #1: It's "dog", Buford. Shoot him down like a dog. Buford "Mad Dog" Tannen: [enraged] Lets go, boys! Let these ...
Hot. I’ve been upgraded to hot.No one has ever called me hot. Cute? Yes. Adorable? yes, often and it makes me want to punch them. I didn’t know short girls could even be hot. I thought I’d been permanently relegated to elfin-pixie-child status.
We are going to do 'Hot Tub' until we die. Every Monday. Then we'll come back and do it as zombies. 'Hot Tub' is very important. What we do is based on our live skills. It's stand-up and sketch and improv; everything we do in 'Hot Tub' is important t...
Barking dogs don't bite.
All are not thieves that dogs bark at.
The fatter the flea the leaner the dog.
Every dog is a lion at home.
Don't kick a sleeping dog.
