Quotes of: Horizontal Keyword

I don't like to overdose. Call me old-fashioned.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I can't," I said. "I threw my back out masturbating.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

One of my girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

When I get married, I'm gonna register at Bank of America.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

A hotel room all to myself is my idea of a good time.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

A vida é eterna, e o amor é imortal, e a morte não passa de um horizonte, e um horizonte nada é para além do limite da nossa capacidade de visão.

Rossiter Wo Raymond

There are two kinds of people I don't trust: people who don't drink and people who collect stickers.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I have a question. Is it okay to drink while you're pregnant...if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I had always dreamed of being a professional escort but never thought that there was any real money in it.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

How could I have missed the opportunity to pop pills with my sister who was purer than a Quaker?

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My time in heaven was up, and I was being told I wasn't the marrying kind by someone who undresses for a living.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

Where we have the choice between putting a dollar against those that are going to advance horizontal integration and those that are going to sustain current capability, we'd rather put them against the horizontal integration activity.

Stephen Cambone

My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity I had stolen.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

My mother is the antithesis of a typical Jewish mother, she is very soft-spoken and takes more naps that a cat. As a result, I've always longed for someone to really annoy the shit out of me.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

After discovering him in his threesome, I spent the next two weeks in bed suffering from a severe case of vagina elbow. It's a condition not unlike tennis elbow, but you get it from masturbating.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands

In fact, we'd discussed marriage on several occasions just because we seemed to get along so well, but after thinking long and hard, I realized it was not in my best interest to waste my first marriage on a gay man.

My Horizontal Life: A Collection of One-Night Stands