I’m completely library educated. I’ve never been to college. I went down to the library when I was in grade school in Waukegan, and in high school in Los Angeles, and spent long days every summer in the library. I used to steal magazines from a s...
Toasted almond pancakes. Sweet soft 'okays'. Makin' me laugh more in a few weeks than I have in decades. 'Yes, Daddys' I feel in my dick. The first voicemail you left me, babe. I saved it and I listen to it once a day. If I lose focus, I see you on y...
Leah: Yo Yo Yiggady Yo. Juno MacGuff: I'm at suicide risk. Leah: Juno? Juno MacGuff: No, it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting? Leah: Only the one in my pants... Juno MacGuff: I'm pregnant. Leah: What? Honest to blog? Juno M...
Sulley: [is fighting the invisible Randall when he is hit with a snowball] Mike? Mike: Look, it's not that I don't care about the kid. Sulley: Mike, you don't understand. Mike: Yes, I do. I was just mad, that's all. I needed some time to think, but y...
Merry Men: [singing] Ta da, da da da da - whoo! Monsieur Hood: I steal from the rich and give to the needy... Merry Man: He takes a wee percentage... Monsieur Hood: But I'm not greedy - I rescue pretty damsels, man I'm good! Merry Men: What a guy, ha...
Warden Samuel Norton: [after Andy escapes] Well? Red: Well what? Warden Samuel Norton: I see you two all the time, you're thick as thieves, you are. He musta said *something*. Red: Honest, Warden, not a word. Warden Samuel Norton: [frustrated] Lord, ...
Guard: [at the wall] I'm charged with guarding the portal to another world, and you're asking me to just let you through! Young Dunstan Thorn: Yes. Because, let's be honest, it's a field. Look, [the guard points to the field at the other side of the ...
Eirik: I was trying to rob him. And he took my gun from me. And the gun was full of blanks. And he shot a blank into my eye. And now I cannot see from this eye ever again, the doctors say. Harry: Well to be honest it sounds like it's all your fault. ...
The Girlfriend 911 Cheat Sheet: 1) Change your behavior, and you’ll change his. 2) Create a high standard for yourself. 3) Create a boundary for yourself and for him. 4) Allow him to take the lead every step of the way. It’s a chess game. He make...
When strangers on a train or a plane ask what I do for a living, I say, "I kill people." This response makes for a short conversation. No eye contact and no sudden movement from my seat-mate. Only peace and quiet. Rare is the fellow passenger who ask...
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance; commits his body To painful labor, both by sea and land; To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou li’st warm...
He pulled the gun from his waist, running it along my cheek and back down to my lips. I blinked back the tears at sick game. He finally stopped the gun at my temple, my pulse fighting against the pressure of the cold metal of the gun. “Do you think...
