Quotes of: Holy-book Keyword

I want to design sleeveless jackets for armless men. I'm still trying to work out how they would zip it up though.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have a shirt that’s skin tight. It’s made from human flesh.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

He doesn’t have sex with sheep—he sleeps with scapegoats. He is my father, and I haven’t seen him since before I was born.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am Cloud “Combat” McCloud. Fear my thunder! Love my chicken tenders.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Hoping you were the first to do something, and fearing you weren’t the first, won’t change the future by altering the past. If you can’t be Neil Armstrong, then be Neil Armstronger.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

After a lot of stalling and posturing, I finally admitted I had feelings for her. Most notably I felt anger and resentment, and a few less positive emotions.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I know she is going on vacation, so I knitted her a sweater. It matches the bathing suit I knitted her, and it’s as revealing as my feelings for her.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Most people fight with their fists. But I fight with my legs. I fight to stay, but they fight to run. Luckily for them, I don't fight very hard.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You don’t need to have a fight before great sex. I can keep my cool and still bring the heat every time.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

To show you how much I love you, I’d take you to the moon and back. Or try to fake it in a film studio.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to merge oven mitts with boxing gloves, so I could effectively, and safely, fight fires. After all, fire fighters make better lovers.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A flowing flurry of flowers fell to the floor when I fell in love, as if my heart were a garden that gushed forth and flooded her being with the fragrance of romance.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks like a tablecloth. Especially when I have food all over it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

At the potluck, I brought two dishes: knowledge and mashed potatoes and gravy. Guess which one got cleaned out and which one hardly got touched.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Good things come to those who ate. And I’m stuffed. Like a teddy bear. That might be why I’m the World Cuddling Champion.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The best part about a murder mystery dinner, of course, is the dinner. I make a killer Bubble and squeak, if you know what I mean. The mystery, of course, is what's in the dinner.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My love for you is like food for a statue. My love is like anything from McDonald’s, because it will never decay and always looks brand new.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Things I can’t live without: food, water, love. But not her love, because I haven’t had that in a long time, yet I’m still alive.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I used to think how lucky she was to have me, but now I realize that’s backwards. A spirit of gratitude yields patience, love, and forgiveness.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sell canoes to those who are enduring a drought, and sell sunscreen to those suffering from flooding. But give love freely to all, because samples encourage sales.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Feel free to become a slave to your own clone. And mine. Remember, you can never have too many lovers who look exactly the same as me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE