Quotes of: Holy-book Keyword

Pete Rose’s last name is so sweet, he can’t be a cheater. But a cheat by any other name would smell just as sweet.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Maybe is the lovechild of No and Yes. We should make love. I’ll be the No, you’ll be the Yes, and maybe I won’t call the cops but will call you again sometime.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In Jacksonville, there are more childrenless children than fatherless children. Barely. But that’s one bad thing that’s actually a good thing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

He was an introverted kid, so I didn’t send him to his room as punishment. No, I took him to a party.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When I was a kid, I was just a boy. But that all changed by my 18th birthday. No longer a kid, I was a full-fledged goat.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The best part about having children is being able to point at them and proudly proclaim, "Hey, I made those.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her message was short: “Any kids?” So I wrote, “Sure. But it might take me a few tries to get you pregnant.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I talked to a mother of nine last night, and I thought, “Nine is nine years too young to be a mother.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I wonder what city Grover Cleveland is from. Probably Cincinnati.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colored bear.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I drink hot coffee in the summer, and iced coffee in the winter. I’m a contrarian, and contrary to popular belief I'm not a sellout. I rent.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I think Starbucks would go out of business if more people were to Superglue their eyelids open when they felt tired.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want instant coffee at the snap of my fingers that gives me more energy than that generated by a million snaps.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t need a coffee cup. That’s what hands were invented for. That’s also why I don’t need sex.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I love letting her know how much she means to me. A love in secret is but a shadow that’s cold and lonely.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A crime scene is a silent witness that speaks louder and clearer than any human. Just ask Helen Keller.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Generally, competition is a good thing. But not when it’s between two nipples, specifically mine, over which one can suck the most.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There’s always something to talk about, even if you talk about how there is nothing to talk about. Of course, I’m talking about love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Courage comes in many forms. One of them is the ability to run at high speeds while wearing adult diapers.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not courageous. In fact, when I shadow box I wear boxing gloves that are outfitted with flashlights.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes, particularly not mine. Especially not when I am dancing alone.

This Book is Not FOR SALE