Food is something I am going to have to face at least three times a day for the rest of my life. And I am not perfect. But one really bad day does not mean that I am hopeless and back at square one with my eating disorder. Olympic ice skaters fall in...
Dr. Watson's summary list of Sherlock Holmes's strengths and weaknesses: "1. Knowledge of Literature: Nil. 2. Knowledge of Philosophy: Nil. 3. Knowledge of Astronomy: Nil. 4. Knowledge of Politics: Feeble. 5. Knowledge of Botany: Variable. Well up in...
By the age of twenty, you know you're not going to be a rock star. By twenty-five, you know you're not going to be a dentist or any kind of professional. And by thirty, darkness starts moving in- you wonder if you're ever going to be fulfilled, let a...
The central attitudes driving the Player are: Women were put on this earth to have sex with men—especially me. Women who want sex are too loose, and women who refuse sex are too uptight. (!) It’s not my fault that women find me irresistible. (Thi...
Tony Wendice: How about coming with me to a stag party? Mark Halliday: A stag party? Tony Wendice: Yes, some American boys have been playing tennis all over the country. We're giving them a sort of farewell dinner. Mark Halliday: Sounds great, but I'...
Manny Cussins: Let's be honest, Brian. It's not working, is it? The players aren't happy. We're not happy. In truth, we should probably never have hired you without Peter Taylor. Brian Clough: So... what do you want to do about it? Manny Cussins: It'...
Smalls: I was gonna put the ball back. Squints: But it was signed by Babe Ruth! Smalls: Yeah, you keep telling me that! Who is she? Ham Porter: WHAT? WHAT? Kenny: The sultan of swat! Bertram: The king of crash! Timmy: The colossus of clout! Tommy: Th...
Interesting how fashion is cyclical,” Jaccob said when she came out of the store with two black plastic bags. “Goth was the look when I was young, too.” “It’s not a look,” Chuck said. “I’m just wearing my feelings on the outside.” �...
When did my house turn into a hangout for every grossly overpaid, terminally pampered professional football player in northern Illinois?" "We like it here," Jason said. "It reminds us of home." "Plus, no women around." Leandro Collins, the Bears' fir...
You should be spreading the good word. You should be etching the good word onto the glass scanning beds of library photocopiers. You should be scraping the truth onto old auto parts and throwing them off bridges so that people digging in the mud in a...
Gossie McKee: What the hell's Ray doin' up there? Marlene: Auditionin' for you Gossie. Gossie McKee: He ain't no good without me. Marlene: How'd you and the 'Bama like to do a week here at the Chair. I know a good bass player. Nice jazz trio can scor...
Laura Dannon: You're quite a pill. Brendan Frye: Uh-huh. Laura Dannon: Where are you going? Brendan Frye: Home. Laura Dannon: Why did you take a powder the other night? Brendan Frye: Same reason I'm taking one now. Laura Dannon: Hold it. I wanna help...
4-19-10 Monday 1:00 P.M. Today the gas was turned off – more panic reactions. I’m wondering if the darkest hour is just before the dawn and all those wonderful cliches. I don’t see anyway out of my current situation, at least any quality of lif...
Rebecca: Oh! It's that comedian I was telling you about. [she turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy] Rebecca: See this bit, it's the absolute worst. Joey McCobb, the Stand Up Comic: [on ...
