Growing up, the only class I didn’t doodle in was Art class, because there I’d get to spend the whole time drawing.
I enjoy scratching itches on my body with my beard stubble. The worst though is when my lower back itches.
I taught a college course called “Of Course!: Helping the Oblivious Realize the Obvious.” Nobody showed up to class, probably because the time and location weren’t obvious enough.
The light lulls you into a false sense of security. But if the dark should come suddenly and silently, you’d stand out like black on night.
When my now ex wife said she wanted a separation, I was horrified. So I said, “You want me to wear a condom?!
We made love like September swims in August. But that’s natural, because it’s too cold to go swimming in October.
Doing autograph sessions all day is not what I signed up for. But that’s just all part of not being famous.
If I weren’t married, and I didn’t have a girlfriend, I’d ask that girl out. But what can I do? I’m an honorable guy.
My clones just honored me with the 2012 Man of the Year Award. But I wasn’t fooled—I knew they were really honoring themselves.
I heard everything you said, listened to half, and agreed with a quarter. And 12.5% isn’t bad—if you’re collecting that in interest on money you lent out.
My information is based on yesterday’s newspaper. But that’s OK, because I’m living in the past. It’s always two days ago to me.
Some people hide behind rules and regulations to deliver sadistic punishments, as if they don’t secretly delight in causing pain and abusing their power.
It’s not that the risk isn’t worth the reward, it’s that the reward isn’t worth as much as another reward, which also has a lesser risk.
Which is more valuable into showing how I think: the order I think of things, or the order in which I arrange them once I’ve thought of them?
Your mail could've waited." Daemon followed me into the kitchen. "What is it? Just books?" Grabbing the OJ from the fridge, I sighed. People who didn't heart books didn't understand.
In my experience, people who want to keep their painful injuries are using them as a crutch. They’re hiding from something.
But remember. Just because you don't believe in something doesn't mean it isn't real.
Of course mothers and daughters with strong personalities might see the world from very different points of view.
8. The Cat Who Lived in the Palace The cat who lived in the Palace had been awarded the head-dress of nobility and was called Lady Myobu.
He who perseveres like an infant that falls down and keeps getting up, shall eventually find the way.”~ Amunhotep El Bey
What is law? Is it what is on the books, or what is actually enacted and obeyed in a society? Or is law what must be enacted and obeyed, whether or not it is on the books, if things are to go right?
