Quotes of: History-book Keyword

I ate the evidence he’d been murdered. What Carl called “Kevin,” I called dinner.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I feel about my body.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the now of the then. My body is the embodiment of all my ancestors who came before me. They live on in me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Be proud of your work week, not your weak work. Monday-Friday you can find me working out. I have the body of a fisherman.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In 1,000 pages of Orafoura’s novel, I noticed he repeated one word twice. It really stood out to me. The word? Sit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I had a dream about your brain. I wish I could eat my dream.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those plans with my bare hands.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On Halloween I like to scare up business the old fashioned way: with flyers, business cards, and electroshock therapy while wearing spooky masks.

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A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires.

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A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I feel self-conscious calling my cat fat in front of a fat person, considering I’m skinny and inconsiderate.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I'm sort of a girly guy in that I love cats, rainbows, sunsets, flowers, trees, and sex. But not sex with trees.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When he misbehaves, I’ll clap and then point at my cat, as if transmitting the sting of the slap towards him in punishment.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Schrödinger’s cat was a Siamese cat, must have been, because if it’s at once alive and dead, it’s a zombie, and the only zombie cats are Siamese cats.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When someone asks, Dogs or cats? I usually say, For what, dinner?

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Cats are like mushrooms, only you'll rarely ever hear me scream, "Get off my pizza!" to a pack of mushrooms.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I killed a flea this morning. I may have been a bit overzealous, because I accidentally killed the cat too.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I could change any one thing about me, I’d change you.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On a unicycle, my tire will tire before I do. I ride for charity. I’m trying to raise enough money to buy a bicycle.

This Book is Not FOR SALE