Valerie: Ever since Prince Humperdinck fired him, his confidence has been shattered. Miracle Max: Why'd you say that name? You promised me you would never say that name! Valerie: What, Humperdinck? Miracle Max: Aahaahh! Valerie: Humperdinck! Humperdi...
[Chris Taylor takes his first hit of marijuana] Sgt. Elias: First time? Chris Taylor: Yeah. Sgt. Elias: Then the worm has definitely turned for you, man. Feel good? Chris Taylor: Yeah, it feels good. I got no pain in my neck now. Sgt. Elias: Feeling ...
[Having been ditched by Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket starts to leave Pleausre Island] Jiminy Cricket: Lampwick, hmph! Lampwick! Burns me up! After all I tried to do for him. Who's his conscience, anyway? Me or that hoodlum Lampwick? Well, I've had enoug...
Detective Loki: Alex Jones, unfortunately has the I.Q. of a 10 year-old. There's no way someone with the I.Q. of a 10 year-old could abduct 2 girls in broad daylight and then... somehow dissppear. Keller Dover: Well, maybe he wasn't on his own. How c...
Dr. Fred Richmond: No. I got the whole story - but not from Norman. I got it - from his mother. Norman Bates no longer exists. He only half-existed to begin with. And now, the other half has taken over. Probably for all time. Lila Crane: Did he kill ...
Ahmad: Eat it now. You'll never get a chance to eat Gorme Sabzi [an Iranian food] Ahmad: in future. Unless you'll marry to a fun Iranian husband and you Fouad, an Iranian wife. Fouad: What does an Iranian woman look like? Ahmad: Like me! [Ahmad moves...
Jack Barry: Eleven points will bring you to 21 and you will be our new champion! Because of a disagreement with his commanding general, Ulysses S. Grant was virtually placed under arrest for a brief time early in 1862. Who was the commanding general ...
Dietrich: Doctor Jones, surely you don't think you can escape from this island? Indiana: That depends on how reasonable we're all willing to be. All I want is the girl. Dietrich: [looks at Belloq. Belloq shakes his head] And if we refuse? Indiana: Th...
Prison Counsellor: Most men your age Hi, are getting married and raising up a family. H.I.: Well factually, the... Prison Counsellor: They wouldn't accept prison as a substitute. Would any of you men care to comment. Gale: Well, sometimes your career...
John Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this? Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best. John Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen. Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen. John Mason: Reall...
Harry Goldfarb: [Waking up after his arm was amputated] Marion? Marion? Angelic Nurse: Don't worry, you're in a hospital. Harry Goldfarb: Marion? Angelic Nurse: Who's that? She'll be sent for, she'll come. Harry Goldfarb: No... she won't. Angelic Nur...
James Bond: Your clock, is it correct? Russian Clerk: Always. James Bond: But of course. [he walks away, checks his watch, then comes back] James Bond: Excuse me, you did say your clock was correct? Russian Clerk: Russian clocks are always... [the hi...
Royal: Chas has those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel. Ethel: He has his reasons. Royal: Oh, I know that, but you can't raise boys to be scared of life. You gotta brew some recklessness into them. Ethel: I think that's terrible advic...
Jeff: [into the phone] He killed a dog last night because the dog was scratching around in the garden. You know why? Because he had something buried in that garden that the dog scented. Lt. Doyle: [voice] Like an old hambone? Jeff: I don't know what ...
Jeff: I just can't figure it. He went out several times last night in the rain carrying his sample case. Stella: Well, he's a salesman, isn't he? Jeff: Well, what would he be selling at three o'clock in the morning? Stella: Flashlights. Luminous dial...
Han Solo: [cutting open his dead Tauntaun and shoving Luke inside] This may smell bad, kid, but it'll keep you warm until I get the shelter up... Ugh. And I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*.
Luke: I don't know. I feel like... Yoda: Feel like what? [Luke whips around and pulls out his blaster in defense] Luke: Like we're being watched. Yoda: Away put your weapon. I mean you no harm.
C-3PO: [Chewbacca is carrying the dismembered C3PO on his back] If only you'd attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish!
Dwight: Most people think Marv is crazy. He just had the rotten luck of being born in the wrong century. He'd be right at home on some ancient battlefield swinging an axe into somebody's face. Or in a Roman arena, taking his sword to other gladiators...
[showing customers in the shop a TV set, sounding bored out of his mind, almost a zombie, in a droning voice] Shaun: This one comes with a basic sort of digital package, uh, you got your Lifestyle Channels there, a bit of "Trisha," um, you got "Enter...
[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey] Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them! Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us! Shrek: What? Pinocchio: We were forced to come here! Shrek: By who? Little Pig: Lord Far...
