Mike: Psst, Fungus. Fungus, you like cars? Because I got a really nice car. You let me go, I'll give you... a ride... in the car. Fungus: I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot.
Yeti: [Referring to despondent Sully] Aw, poor guy. I understand. It's not easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself "King Itch...
Leonard Shelby: When I looked into his eyes I thought I saw recognition. Now I know. You fake it. If you think you're supposed to recognize somebody you, you just pretend. You bluff it to get a pat on the head from the doctors. You bluff it to seem l...
Colonel Blake: [General Hammond is yelling in their direction] Radar! Radar: Sir? Colonel Blake: What's the general trying to say? Radar: He's just been informed as to the identity of our, uh, Spearchucker. His ringer spotted our ringer. Colonel Blak...
Duke Forrest: [Hawkeye stands beside a Jeep. Duke assumes he is the driver] Uh, 4077 M*A*S*H? Hawkeye Pierce: This is the Jeep, yeah. Duke Forrest: [Sets in his bag then gets in] 'Kay, let's go, boy. Get my other bag. Hawkeye Pierce: Yes, sir. Yes, s...
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny and Lisa receive their breakfast orders, Vinny looks at his skeptically] Whats this over here? Grits Cook: You never heard of grits? Vinny Gambini: Sure I've heard of grits. I just never actually *seen* a grit before.
Mr. Allen, Master: In all my years I've never seen the like. It has to be more than 100 sea miles and he brings us up on his tail. That's seamanship, Mr. Pullings. My God, that's seamanship.
Faster Doudle, Able Seaman: [as he examines the Galapagos through his telescope] I can't see any women. Just ducks and lizards. Nehemiah Slade, Able Seaman: [he snatches the telescope to see for himself] What, no women? It ain't natural.
[when Mika is waking up his passed-out customer] Mika: Hey, Aki, wake up! Man #3: Who the fuck are you? And where the fuck am I? Mika: You're in a fucking taxi, fucking close to your home, and you owe me for the fucking ride!
Nancy: [At the sleep clinic] I don't see why you can't just give me a pill to keep me from dreaming. Dr. King: Everybody's got to dream, young girl. If you don't dream... [Pointing to his head] Dr. King: Ya go.
[Sheba is going to see her son perform in his school play, but Barbara demands that she must instead go with her to the vet to see her cat put down] Richard Hart: My condolences! Poor, poor, pussy! Now can I have my wife back, please?
Devlin: [referring to Sebastian] Well, he's here. The head of a large German business concern. Alicia: His family always had money. Devlin: He's part of the combine that built up the German war machine and hopes to keep on going. Alicia: Something bi...
Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news? Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to. Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine? Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix! [Clark begins choking on his hamburger]
[Max shows Noodles his latest purchase] Noodles: What is it? Max: It's a throne. It was a gift to a pope. It cost me about 800 bucks. Carol: It's from the 17th century. Noodles: What are you going to do with it? Max: I'm sitting on it.
[Charley Waite kicks Button off his horse. He falls into the river] Button: What you do that for? Charley Waite: Cheatin' at cards. Button: I apologized to you for that. [to Boss Spearman] Button: Eh, Boss? I apologized to him for that. Boss Spearman...
Boss Spearman: I believe you have a friend of ours in your jail. His name's Mose Harrison. Sheriff Poole: Yeah, I got him here. He started a fight in the general store. Boss Spearman: Mose don't start fights. He just finishes them.
Miracle Max: Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world - except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce, and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoes are ripe [smacks his lips] Miracle Max: They're so perky, I love that.
[last lines] [Col. Dax listens to his regiment humming in the tavern] Sgt. Boulanger: Sir? Colonel Dax: Yes, sir. Sgt. Boulanger: We have orders to move back to the front immediately. Colonel Dax: Well give the men a few minutes more, Sergeant. Sgt. ...
Mary: And that's him with Pete Olsen. Mike and Pete were... [embarassed] Philomena: That's alright, Mary. I know Anthony was a gay homosexual. And we've met Marcia, who I believe was his beard. Is that right, Martin? Martin Sixsmith: Yes, that's, tha...
Martin Sixsmith: Its funny isn't it? All the pieces of paper designed to help you find him have been destroyed, but guess what, the one piece of paper designed to stop you finding him has been lovingly preserved. God and his infinite wisdom decided t...
[King is writing a letter to his girlfriend] Francis: It ain't D-E-R-E, it's D-E-A-R. And "Sarah" ain't got no two R's, King. Damn, you dumb! King: It don't make no difference. She know what I mean. She don't read too good nohow.
