Uncle Billy: [drunk] Where's my hat? Where's my hat? [George takes it off Billy's head and hands it to him] Uncle Billy: Oh, oh thankyou, George. Which is mine? George Bailey: The middle one.
George Bailey: We're all excited around here. My brother just got the Congressional Medal of Honour. The President just decorated him. Carter: Well, I guess they do for those things.
[Helen is feeding Jack-Jack and making baby noises at him] Dash: Mom, you're making weird faces again. Helen: Noo, I'm not... Bob: [not looking up from the paper] You make weird faces, honey.
[the old lady tries to thank him for everything, but Bob shushes her] Bob: [shouts loudly] I'm sorry ma'am, I know you're upset. [very softly] Bob: Pretend to be upset. [old lady starts sobbing very convincingly]
[Bob notices the little boy on the tricycle staring at him for the second day in a row] Bob: Well, what are *you* waiting for? Little Boy on Tricycle: I don't know. Something amazing, I guess. Bob: [sighs] Me too, kid.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: [after Alan's given a very bloody description of a Raptor's capabilities to a skeptical child at a dinosaur dig] Hey, Alan. If you wanted to scare the kid you could have pulled a gun on him.
Donald Gennaro: I had to promise to conduct a very thorough on-site inspection. Juanito Rostagno: Hammond hates inspections. They slow everything down. Donald Gennaro: Juanito, they'll pull the funding. That'll slow him down even more.
The Bride: [spanking a young member of the Crazy 88s with her sword] This is what you get for fucking around with Yakuzas! [with a last spank, lets him go] The Bride: Go home to your mother!
[Elle and The Bride each have a sword in hand] Elle Driver: What's that? The Bride: Budd's Hanzo sword. Elle Driver: He said he pawned it. The Bride: Guess that makes him a liar, don't it?
Harry: [after overpowering and pistol-whipping a guy who'd had a gun on him and Perry] Doesn't that suck? I just hit you for no reason. I don't even know why.
Calpurnia: That boy is your company. And if he wants to eat up that tablecloth, you let him, you hear? And if you can't act fit to eat like folks, you can just set here and eat in the kitchen.
[on being introduced to Terence, the head of the Downing Street staff] Prime Minister: I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. I think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.
Dog: I'll find you... I'll find you. Bacon: 'Course you will sweetheart! [Ties Dog's hands behind him] Dog: I'll find you. Bacon: What d'you think this is? Fucking hide and seek?
Rory Breaker: What did you shoot him with, an air rifle? Winston: Look, we grow weed. We're not mercenaries. Rory Breaker: You don't say.
Sarah: You're him, aren't you? You're the Goblin King! I want my brother back, please, if it's all the same. Jareth: What's said is said. Sarah: But, I didn't mean it. Jareth: Oh, you didn't?
Ed Exley: All I ever wanted was to measure up to my father. Bud White: Now's your chance. Bud White: [after Exley gives him a puzzled look] He died in the line of duty, didn't he?
Witch King: Send forth all legions. Do not stop the attack until the city is taken. Slay them all. Gothmog: What of the wizard? Witch King: I will break him.
Timon: Let me get this straight. You know her. She knows you. But she wants to eat him. And everybody's okay with this? [jumps up suddenly] Timon: [yells] Did I miss something?
Saruman: We must join with Him, Gandalf. We must join with Sauron. It would be wise, my friend. Gandalf: Tell me, "friend", when did Saruman the Wise abandon reason for madness?
Slevin: I'm gonna say the same thing any man with two penises says when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or left. Lindsey: What's that? [cuts to Boss's penthouse] Slevin: Yes.
Idi Amin: They take you to a tree and hang you by your skin. Each time you scream the evil comes out of you. Sometimes, it can take three days for your evil to be spent. Pull him up.
