In keeping with the Laws of the Prophet Bubba and the Code of the UIL, as set forth in the Book of First Downs, as the sun sets on Friday nights the rites of the Texas state religion are celebrated: high school, smash-mouth football. ‘And lo, the c...
Satan must have been pretty simple, even according to the New Testament, or he wouldn't have led Christ up on a high mountain and offered him the world if he would fall down and worship him. That was a manifestly absurd proposition, because Christ, a...
I did not know then how much was ended. When I look back now from this high hill of my old age, I can still see the butchered women and children lying heaped and scattered all along the crooked gulch as plain as when I saw them with eyes still young....
She had streaked blonde hair, long and straight, parted in the middle framing high cheek bones, an aquiline nose and beautiful deep blue eyes. She was young, around 30, tall and lithe with a good body, athletic, not skinny. She wore a sleeveless blac...
I am my own biggest critic. Before anyone else has criticized me, I have already criticized myself. But for the rest of my life, I am going to be with me and I don't want to spend my life with someone who is always critical. So I am going to stop bei...
Moon and Sea You are the moon, dear love, and I the sea: The tide of hope swells high within my breast, And hides the rough dark rocks of life's unrest When your fond eyes smile near in perigee. But when that loving face is turned from me, Low falls ...
I believe in strong women. I believe in the woman who is able to stand up for herself. I believe in the woman who doesn't need to hide behind her husband's back. I believe that if you have problems, as a woman you deal with them, you don't play victi...
Get used to the idea of significant portion of the population walking around with high-speed Internet connections on their person, with sophisticated video cameras built in. They will be shooting all kinds of events all the time. Crime. Crashes. Spee...
My youngest brother had a wonderful schtick from some time in high school, through to graduating medicine. He had a card in his wallet that read, ‘If I am found with amnesia, please give me the following books to read …’ And it listed half a do...
There is an open circle.” This mantra is what my high school coaches would say to me during wrestling practice when they knew that I was physically exhausted and was about to rest for a moment. There was an open circle on the wrestling mat, and if ...
You’ll pass through highs and lows in life, and somehow, somewhere, you’ll lose the urge to call him up everytime something good or bad happens. For every song that reminds you of him, you’ll find five new ones that remind you of something bett...
Prosecutor: Chicolini, you are charged with high treason, and if found guilty, you will be shot. Chicolini: I object. Prosecutor: You object? On what grounds? Chicolini: I couldn't think of anything else to say. Rufus T. Firefly: Objection sustained....
Capt. Ross: Your honor, it's become obvious that Lt. Kaffee's intention this afternoon are to smear a high ranking Marine officer in the desperate hope that the mere appearance of impropriety will win him points with the court members. Now, it is my ...
Richard 'Data' Wang: Hey I've got a great idea you guys! Slick shoes! Mikey, Mouth: [together] Slick shoes? ARE YOU CRAZY? Andy: DATA! Francis Fratelli: [Jake tries to push Francis over the log] DON'T PUSH JAKE! Jake Fratelli: I'm not pushing Franci...
Enid: [coming out of their high school graduation ceremony] God, what a bunch of retards. Rebecca: God, I know, I thought Chipmunk-face was never going to shut up. Enid: I know, I liked her so much better when she was an alcoholic crack addict. She g...
Maxine: It's really quite something to see you all grown-up like this, Enid. I'd love to know what you're doing now. I can't help but feel I had some small part in how you turned out. What're you studying? You were always such a smart little girl. En...
[first lines] Rob: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally...
Barry: How about the Jesus and Mary Chain? Barry's Customer: They always seemed... Barry: They always seemed what? They always seemed really great is what they always seemed. They picked up where your precious Echo left off, and you're sitting around...
Rob: My desert island, all-time, top-five most memorable breakups, in chronological order, are as follows: Alison Ashmore; Penny Hardwick; Jackie Alden; Charlie Nicholson; and Sarah Kendrew. Those were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name...
George Bailey: I'm shakin' the dust of this crummy little town off my feet and I'm gonna see the world. Italy, Greece, the Parthenon, the Colosseum. Then, I'm comin' back here to go to college and see what they know. And then I'm gonna build things. ...
T.E. Lawrence: A thousand Arabs means a thousand knives, delivered anywhere day or night. It means a thousand camels. That means a thousand packs of high explosives and a thousand crack rifles. We can cross Arabia while Johnny Turk is still turning r...
