Charlie: [talking to the woman who answers the door] I'm sorry ma'am, I lied to you. I'm very sorry about that. That man right there is my brother and if he doesn't get to watch 'People's Court' in about 30 seconds, he's gonna throw a fit right here ...
Django: [the clan is eating clean garbage thanks to Remy's gift] Now don't you feel better, Remy? Eh? You've helped a noble cause. Remy: Noble? We, we're thieves, Dad, and what we're stealing is - let's face it - garbage! Django: It isn't stealing if...
Jeff: What do you need as evidence? Bloody footprints leading up to his door? Lt. Doyle: One thing I don't need is heckling. You called me and asked for help. Now you're behaving like a taxpayer. Jeff: You know by tomorrow morning, there may not be a...
Lin: Sen! Sen, where are you? Chihiro: [from beside the Stink Spirit] Over here! Lin: Don't worry... stay right where you are, I'm coming to get you! You're gonna be fine, I won't let him hurt you. Chihiro: I think he needs help! It feels like there'...
Lando: What are you doing here? Han Solo: Ah, repairs. I was hoping you could help me out. Lando: What have you done to my ship? Han Solo: YOUR ship? Hey, remember you lost her to me, fair and square.
James T. Kirk: I'm scared, Spock... help me not to be... how do you choose not to feel? Spock: I do not know. Right now, I am failing. James T. Kirk: I wanted you to know why I couldn't let you die... why I went back for you... Spock: Because you are...
[Uhura approaches the Klingon patrol, alone and unarmed] Nyota Uhura: [in Klingon] I am here to help you. With respect, there is a criminal hiding in these ruins. He has killed many of our people. Klingon: [in Klingon] Why should I care about a human...
Jack: Are you still seeing that shrink? Miles Raymond: I saw him on Monday. I spent most of the time helping him with his computer. Jack: Well, I say, fuck therapy. And what is that stuff you take... Xanax? Miles Raymond: And Lexapro, yes. Jack: Well...
[looking at the video of Sol and Vinny, trapped in the foyer of the bookie's by the security door] Brick Top: Do you know these tits, Errol? Errol: I know a lot of tits, Guv'nor. But I don't know any quite as fucking stupid as these two. Brick Top: J...
Red: Ever bother you? Andy Dufresne: I don't run the scams Red, I just process the profits. Fine line, maybe, but I also built that library and used it to help a dozen guys get their high school diploma. Why do you think the warden lets me do all tha...
Mr. Mackey: I guess I'll have to send a warning letter out to parents before more children see Terrence & Phillip. Cartman: Everybody's fucking seen it. Mrs. Cartman: Eric! Cartman: I'm sorry I can't help myself. That movie has warped my fragile litt...
Luke Skywalker: How did my father die? Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: A young Jedi named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Jedi a...
Eduardo Ruiz: You guys remind me of Japanese soldiers on deserted islands who still think world war two is still going on. The fact is that your government surrendered this war a long fucking time ago. Montel Gordon: You know, I don't think this atti...
Auntie Em: Help us out today and find yourself a place where you won't get into any trouble! Dorothy: A place where there isn't any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It's not a place you can get to by a boat or a tra...
Sir Wilfrid: I'd better take that thermos of cocoa with me. It helps me wash down down the pills. Miss Plimsoll: Let me see. My learned patient is not above substituting brandy for cocoa. [opens thermos and smells] Miss Plimsoll: Sniff, sniff. It is ...
Dr. Manhattan: She was pregnant. And you gunned her down. Edward Blake: That's right. And you know what, you watched me. You could've turned the gun into steam, the bullets into mercury, the bottle into goddamned snowflakes but you didn't, did you? Y...
Logan: We need your help, Peter. Pietro Maximoff: With what? Logan: Breaking into a highly secured facility and get someone out. Logan, Pietro Maximoff: Prison break? That's illegal, you know? Logan: [Looks around and sees the items Peter has obviou...
Logan: In the beginning the Sentinels were just targeting mutants. Then they began to identify the genetics in non-mutants who'd eventually have mutant children or grandchildren, and they started targeting everyone. Many of the humans tried to help u...
Carolyn Burnham: Lester I refuse to live like this! This is not a marriage! Lester Burnham: This hasn't been a marriage, for years, but you were happy as long as I kept my mouth shut. Well guess what, I've changed! And the new me whacks off when he f...
Charlie Kaufman: You sound like your in a cult. Donald Kaufman: No, it's just good writing technique. Oh, I made you a copy of Mckee's ten commandments, I posted it over both our work stations. [Charlie tears the page from over his work area] Donald ...
Bob Anders: [as Mendez proposes his plan to get the houseguests out] We can't hold up under that. We don't know what the hell movie people do. Tony Mendez: That's why I'm here. I'm gonna help you. I'll be with you the whole way. This is what I do. Co...
