Valentine: You know what this is like? It's like those old movies we both love. Now I'm going to tell you my whole plan, and then I'm going to come up with some absurd and convoluted way to kill you, and you'll find an equally convoluted way to escap...
Tafas: Here you may drink... [Lawrence nods and takes out his canteen to drink water] Tafas: One cup. [pointing the tincup] T.E. Lawrence: [Lawrence pours in some water] You do not drink? Tafas: No. [Tafas shakes his head like saying no] T.E. Lawrenc...
Triton: Any sign of them? Seahorse: No, Your Majesty. We searched everywhere. We've found no trace of your daughter or Sebastian. Triton: Well, keep looking. Leave no shell unturned, no coral unexplored, and let no one in this kingdom sleep until she...
Captain Beauvais: [pointing a pistol at Valjean with a trembling hand] Are you a convict? Is that true? Jean Valjean: Yes. Captain Beauvais: Where's the inspector in there? Jean Valjean: Inside Captain Beauvais: Did you kill him? [Valjean shakes his ...
Gimli: [upon leaving Lorien and Galadriel] I have been dealt a wound beyond all healing, for I have looked the last... upon that which was fairest. [sighs] Gimli: Henceforth I will call nothing fair unless it be her gift to me. Legolas: What was it? ...
Gandalf: [after failing to open the magical doors of Moria] I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves... Men... and Orcs. Pippin: What are you going to do, then? Gandalf: Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does ...
Eomer: What business does an Elf, Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly. Gimli: Give me your name, horse-master, and I shall give you mine. Eomer: [dismounts] I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the...
Patty Brooks: Herb, there's no disgrace in losing to this team. Herb Brooks: Yeah, I know. Patty Brooks: The important thing is, you got this far. Herb Brooks: The important thing? [pause] Herb Brooks: The important thing is that those twenty boys kn...
Kid: Santa? Jack Skellington: Merry Christmas! And what is your name? Kid: uh... uh... Jack Skellington: That's all right. I have a present for you anyway. There ya go, sonny! Ho ho ho! HEEHEEHEE! [slips out the chimney] Mother: And what did Santa br...
[Frank has beaten a horde of America's most-feared world leaders in a conference room and heads for a door] Muammar al-Qaddafi: Hey, who are you? Frank: I'm Lt. Frank Drebin! Police Squad! And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! [the door hi...
Dr. King: [At the sleep clinic, referring to the monitor's brainwave display] A nightmare now would be plus or minus five or six. She's about three. Marge: [Nancy begins twitching, as you hear Freddy's knives] Doctor, what's she doing now? Is she asl...
Steve: I lied. Um... All that stuff I said about being a crack head? It just helps me sell magazines. I'm actually an unemployed... software engineer. Peter Gibbons: You're a software engineer? Steve: Yup. [sighs] Samir: Things, uh... it must be very...
Homer: [to John] Dad, I may not be the best, but I come to believe that I got it in me to be somebody in this world. And it's not because I'm so different from you either, it's because I'm the same. I mean, I can be just as hard-headed, and just as t...
Vizzini: We'll head straight for the Gilder frontier. You catch up with us there. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword. Inigo Montoya: I'm going to duel him left-handed. Vizzini: You know what a hurry we're in! Inigo Montoya: Well, is only way I can ...
[the gleeful gang shoots Murphy firing-squad style till... ] Joe Cox: Shit! I'm out of ammo. Emil: Me, too. Joe Cox: [to a mangled Murphy, in sing-songy taunting tone] Does it hurt? Does it hurt? [laughs] Clarence Boddicker: Okay, fun's over. [shoots...
Nice Guy Eddie: What happened to Brown and Blue? Mr. Pink: Brown's dead. We dont know what happened to Blue. Nice Guy Eddie: Brown's dead? Are you sure? Mr. White: Im sure. I was there. He took one in the head. Nice Guy Eddie: Nobody's got a clue wha...
Michael: I sat in the second carriage because I thought you might kiss me. Hanna Schmitz: Kid, you thought we could make love in a tram? Hanna Schmitz: Is it true what you said? That I don't matter to you? Hanna Schmitz: [shakes head] Michael: Do you...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
David Mills: I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in...
Title card: [first title cards] In May 1980, Fidel Castro opened the harbor at Mariel, Cuba with the apparent intention of letting some of his people join their relatives in the United States. Within seventy-two hours, 3,000 U.S. boats were headed fo...
[while holding a razor to Jackie Boy's face] Dwight: I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman. Jack Rafferty: You're making a bi...
