Mr. Bingley: I've never seen so many pretty girls in my life! Mr. Darcy: You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room. Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable. Mr. Darc...
The landlord: He who signs a lease must pay rent. That's the law. Max Bialystock: You miserable wretch! How dare you take the last penny out of a poor man's pocket? The landlord: I have to. I'm a landlord. Max Bialystock: [to God] Oh, Lord, hear my p...
Patton: Almighty and most merciful Father, we humbly beseech Thee of Thy great goodness to restrain this immoderate weather with which we have had to contend. Grant us fair weather for battle. Graciously harken to us as solders who call upon Thee tha...
Kitty Fane: It's raining cats and dogs. Kitty Fane: I said it's raining cats and dogs. Walter Fane: Yes, I heard you. Kitty Fane: You might have answered. Walter Fane: I suppose I'm not used to speaking unless I've something to say. Kitty Fane: If pe...
Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees? Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!" Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it? Nathan...
Carla: [after telling Stanley she's pregnant] You didn't mean what you just said, did you? Stanley Goodspeed: When? Carla: Just right now, when you were talking about bringing a child into the world, and having it be an act of cruelty. Stanley Goodsp...
Michael: I brought you these flowers. To say thank you. Hanna Schmitz: Put them over there in the sink. Michael: I would've come earlier but I've been in bed for three months. Hanna Schmitz: You are better now? Michael: Yes, thank you. Hanna Schmitz:...
Ara Parseghian: What's your problem, O'Hare, what's your problem? Jamie O'Hara: Last practice of the season and this asshole thinks it's the Super Bowl! Ara Parseghian: You just summed up your entire sorry career here in one sentence! If you had a te...
Princess Ann: I hate this nightgown. I hate all my nightgowns, and I hate all my underwear too. Countess: My dear, you have lovely things. Princess Ann: But I'm not two hundred years old. Why can't I sleep in pajamas? Countess: Pajamas? Princess Ann:...
Princess Ann: I have to leave you now. I'm going to that corner there and turn. You must stay in the car and drive away. Promise not to watch me go beyond the corner. Just drive away and leave me as I leave you. Joe Bradley: All right. Princess Ann: ...
Joe Bradley: Tell you what. Why don't we do all those things, together? Princess Ann: But don't you have to work? Joe Bradley: Work? No. Today's gonna be a holiday. Princess Ann: But you want to do a lot of silly things? Joe Bradley: [He takes her ha...
Hiss: [Prince John is sucking his thumb] Sire, if you don't mind my saying, you see you have a very loud thumb. [starts to hypnotize him] Hiss: Hypnosisss can cure you of your psychosis so easy. Prince John: [Snaps out of it and screams] No, no! None...
Little John: [singing] All the world will sing of an English king a thousand years from now / And not because he's passed some law or had that lofty brow / While bonnie good King Richard leads the Great Crusade he's on / We'll all have to slave away ...
Blofeld: Three men were found dead on the Orient Express train at Trieste. One of them was Grant. What have you got to say about that Number Five? Kronsteen: It was Klebb's choice. Her people failed. Rosa Klebb: It was your plan they followed implici...
Charlie: That's amazing. He should work for NASA or something like that. Doctor: Ray, if you had a dollar and you spent fifty cents, how much would you have left over? Raymond: About seventy. Doctor: Seventy cents? Raymond: Seventy cents. Charlie: So...
Raymond: I'm an excellent driver. Charlie: When did you drive? Raymond: I drove slow on the driveway when my dad came to Walbrook. Charlie: Was Dad in the car? Raymond: Yeah. Charlie: I'll have to let you drive sometime. [Raymond grabs the wheel and ...
Charlie: [on phone with Raymond's place] Dr. Bruner, it's Charlie Babbitt. Dr. Bruner: Where are you, son? Charlie: That's not important. What matters is who I'm with. Dr. Bruner: You have to bring him back, Mr. Babbitt. Do you understand me? Charlie...
Alan Johnson: Are you having fun? Charlie Fineman: To tell you the truth, I kinda am, Johnson. I, uh, it's nice to see you in the soup like this. I'm not used to it. Any chance of you getting audited this week? That would make things even better. Or ...
Rupert Cadell: [Phillip and Brandon have been arguing about strangling chickens] Personally, I think a chicken is as good a reason for murder as a blonde, a mattress full of dollar bills or any of the customary, unimaginative reasons. Janet Walker: W...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
Skinner: Toasting your success, eh, Linguini? Good for you. Linguini: [indicating his wine glass] Oh, I just took it to be polite. I don't really drink, you know. Skinner: Oh, of course you don't. I wouldn't either if I was drinking *that*. But you w...
