Clark: Oh, you can't think I'd do this on purpose? Look... I tied him to the rear bumper while I was packing the car. It was very confusing. I must have forgot. I'm very sorry, I feel terrible. Motorcycle Cop: How do you think that little dog feels? ...
Mechanic 2: Ain't never seen anyone so shit-all stupid as you driving off that road. You musta got manure for your brains. Clark: Yeah, well, I'm from out of town. So, what's the bill? Come on, come on, how much? Mechanic 1: How much you got? Clark: ...
Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel o...
Lone Watie: [realizes Josey has snuck up behind and pulled a gun on him] They said a man could get rich on reward money if he could kill you. Josey Wales: Seems like you was looking to gain some money here. Lone Watie: Actually, I was looking to gain...
Kelly: [Josie has walked into the saloon in Santa Rio] What'll you have? Josey Wales: Whiskey. Rose: [laughing] Maybe you'd like somethin' else. Josey Wales: Beer? Kelly: Been a long time since somebody ordered a drink in San Rio. Ten Spot: Been a lo...
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup? Inigo Montoya: Let me explain. [pause] Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we ha...
Sol Robeson: Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures t...
[Jack sees Mr. Cotton's parot] Jack Sparrow: Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we all arrived at a very special place eh? [Governor acts disgusted] Jack Sparrow: Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically. [Walks over to Common...
Jack Sparrow: That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship. Elizabeth: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then. Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young...
[first lines] Young Elizabeth: [singing] Yo, ho, yo, ho/ a pirate's life for me/ Yo, ho, yo, ho/ it's a pirate's life for me/drink up me hearties, yo, ho... Mr. Gibbs: [surprises her by coming up from behind her] Quiet, missy! Cursed pirates sail the...
Jack Sparrow: What's your name? Will Turner: Will Turner. Jack Sparrow: That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name, no doubt named for your father, eh? Will Turner: Yes. Jack Sparrow: Well Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you sp...
Mr. Darcy: So this is your opinion of me. Thank you for explaining so fully. Perhaps these offences might have been overlooked had not your pride been hurt by my honesty... Elizabeth Bennet: *My* pride? Mr. Darcy: ...in admitting scruples about our r...
Cutter: Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if...
Quentin: Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you prefer? Thick Kevin: Good news. Quentin: Okay. The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die. Dave: Hello, Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news? ...
Charles Van Doren: They gave me the answers. Mark Van Doren: They gave you the answers... they gave YOU the answers? Charles Van Doren: Well, no... no, at first they'd ask me questions they already knew I knew the answers to. We ran through those, an...
Little John: You know something, Robin? You're taking too many chances. Robin Hood: Chances? You must be joking! That was just a bit of a lark, Little John. Little John: Oh, yeah? Take a look at your hat. That's not a candle on a cake. Robin Hood: [r...
Charlie: Hey Raymond, remember today when the doctor was asking you those questions? How'd you know the answers? Raymond: [while brushing his teeth at the same time, Charlie can't make out what he said] I see it. Charlie: What? Stop that for a second...
Angela Oakhurst: I disagree strongly with that finding. Your Honor, I think that Charlie needs to find his own way. Not on our time, but on Charlie's time, and I think that will happen. He'll find people that will fill his life again. Not today, but ...
[first lines] Student: If, and only if, both sides of the numerator is divisible by the inverse of he square root of the two unassigned variable. School Professor: Good. Except when the value of the "X" coordinate is equal to or less than the value o...
[picks up the phone] David Mills: Hello? John Doe: I admire you. I don't know how you found me, but imagine my surprise. I respect you law enforcement agents more everyday. David Mills: Well, I appreciate that... John. I tell you... John Doe: No, no,...
Major T. J. "King" Kong: Survival kit contents check. In them you'll find: one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days' concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills...
