Stan Shunpike: Take her away, Ern. Shrunken Head: [With a Jamaican accent] Yeah, take it away, Ernie! Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks! It's going be a bumpy ride!
Professor Lupin: What frightens you most in the world? Neville Longbottom: [mumbling] Pfsr Snpe. Professor Lupin: I'm sorry? Neville Longbottom: Professor Snape. [laughter] Professor Lupin: Professor Sna- yes, he frightens all.
Peter Pettigrew: What would you have done, Sirius? Sirius Black: I would have died! I would have died rather than betray my friends, as we would have done for you!
[Maid knocks on a door] Young Witch Maid: Housekeeping! [the door opens, something roars from inside the room, and the door slams shut] Young Witch Maid: I'll come back later.
Professor Snape: Which one of you can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf? [Hermione raises her hand] Professor Snape: [without turning around] No-one? How disappointing.
Marv: [as they follow behind Kevin, he suddenly runs] Why is he going faster? Harry: See, I told you something was wrong. See I knew he looked at me weird. Why would he run?
Cornelius Fudge: As Minister for Magic, it gives me great pleasure to welcome each and every one of you to the Finals of the 422nd Quidditch World Cup. Let the match begin!
Voldemort: Nagini tells me that the old Muggle caretaker is standing right outside the door. Step aside, Wormtail, so that I can give our guest a proper greeting. Avada Kedavra!
Ron Weasley: How much are these? Fred Weasley, George Weasley: 5 galleons. Ron Weasley: How much for me? Fred Weasley, George Weasley: 5 galleons. Ron Weasley: I'm your brother! Fred Weasley, George Weasley: 10 galleons.
Horace Slughorn: What about you, Miss Granger? What do your parents do in the muggle world? Hermione Granger: Ah, my parents are dentists. Horace Slughorn: And is that considered a dangerous profession?
Neville Longbottom: [serving drinks at Slughorn's Christmas party] I didn't get into the Slug Club. It's okay, though. He's got Belby handing out towels in the loo.
Horace Slughorn: [during Aragog's funeral] Farewell, Aragog. King of the arachnids. Your body will decay... but your spirit lingers on and your human friends find solace, the loss they have sustained.
Severus Snape: Has it ever crossed your brilliant mind that I don't want to do this anymore? Albus Dumbledore: Whether it has or it hasn't is irrelevant; you gave me your word.
Ron Weasley: Hermione, you are honestly the most wonderful person I have ever met. If I'm ever rude to you... Hermione Granger: I'll know you've gone back to normal.
Dolores Umbridge: [during an inspection] You applied first for the Defense Against the Dark Arts post, is that correct? Severus Snape: Yes. Dolores Umbridge: But you were unsuccessful? Severus Snape: [with annoyance in voice] Obviously.
Fred Weasley: You know, George, I've always felt out futures lay outside the world of academic achievement. George Weasley: Fred, I've been thinking exactly the same thing.
Albus Dumbledore: [looking up at Fudge] Charges? Cornelius Fudge: The Charges to the accused are as follows: that he did willingly, and in the full knowledge of the illegality of his actions, perform a Patronus Charm in the presence of a Muggle.
Dolores Umbridge: [holding clipboard and smiling at Trelawney] Could you please predict something for me? Sybil Trelawney: [stops teaching and looks over at Umbridge with a surprised and unhappy face] I'm sorry?
Draco Malfoy: I'm surprised the Ministry's still letting you walk around free, Potter. You better enjoy it while you can. I expect there's a cell in Azkaban with your name on it.
Mr. Potter: [Harry's won the Congressional Medal of Honour] How does slacker George feel about that? Uncle Billy: Very jealous, very jealous. He only lost three buttons off his vest.
Harry: Do you think I'm stupid? Perry: I don't think you'd know where to put food at, if you didn't flap your mouth so much. Yes I think you're stupid.
